Winter Solstice Gets the Shaft

The shortest day of the year gets the shaft today.  Doomsday 12.21.12 has obviously not happened.  Great, now I really do have to pay for that Kindle Fire I just purchased for my son.

For those of us who do not really get that overwhelming xmas 'feeling', I guess this must be our day.  Starting tomorrow the days will get longer...   wait... who the hell wants longer days? 

Either way, I hope everyone has a beautiful, enchanting, winter solstice celebration by doing whatever it is one does to celebrate.  Perhaps you can make this recipe and enjoy an evening getting smashed on some wassail.  Start anytime.  It's 5 o'clock somewhere. 

Solstice Wassail

INGREDIENTS
 

2 pints and 1/4 cup brown ale or winter ale
 

3 or 4 cinnamon sticks
 

4 cloves
 

Zest from half a lemon
 

4 apples
 

1 1/2 cups brown sugar
 

1 cup port
 

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
 

1/4 teaspoon ground all spice
 

1/4 teaspoon ground cardamom
 

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

Brandy until you get drunk (optional, but I don't see why you wouldn't)

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DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 350° F.

In a large saucepan, pour in two pints of ale. Add the cinnamon sticks, lemon zest and cloves and bring to a simmer over low heat.

Score apples around their circumferences with a knife. Place in a baking dish. Cover with 1 cup brown sugar, 1/4 cup of ale and all of the port. Cover baking dish and place in oven, cooking for 30 minutes.

While apples are baking, place remaining sugar and spices into the saucepan, ensuring it’s well mixed.

When apples are done baking, place entire contents of baking dish into saucepan. Allow to cook over a low heat for another 30–40 minutes.

Adding Brandy is always a holiday spirit "lifter" (umm, yeah.)

Serve hot in 6-8 mugs.  

Drink until you don't care about the long day of a hangover you will have tomorrow.

 

My Clusterf#uck of a Tree

All year long my children and I said we weren't going to go through the hassle of putting up the xmas tree.  In fact, we were all in agreement that we weren't even going to celebrate xmas.  Our thinking was that if we wanted to buy gifts for one another, we would just go out and buy them whenever and waiting until xmas was a moot point since we are all self-proclaimed heathens.  *gasp, i know...*

Well then Thanksgiving came and went and I started thinking of my dear Grandmother who died at the age of 93 in 2005.  Prior to that she made each of her grandchildren a handmade ornament every year and then continued the tradition with all her great-grandchildren.  I thought it would be a shame to leave them in a box and not honour her memory AND I wasn't so sure that my son was really for the "no present" deal.  I was all for it, but putting myself in his shoes, I don't think I would have let my parents get away with that shit.

So, we decided to put the tree up. What a nightmare.  My mother who is always so generous gave me her "prelit" xmas tree a few years back when I got in a fight with my old one. I was trying to take it apart and it wasn't working, so I angrily dragged it through the snow to the curb and threw it in with the trash.  (That is another clusterf#uck I should write about sometime...)  So, back to this prelit bitch.  Whoever thought prelit trees were a good idea is a complete moron.

We get it set up and plug it in only to see that half of the lights were working. Oh joy!  I just remembered why I  love xmas so much.  Do you think the light outage could have been located in one central area?  No, that would be entirely too easy.  It was out in different sections. Although, I suppose it is at least in a pattern of working, not working, working, not working, and working... and I guess that should make me feel better.

At this point, I am now running around the house trying to figure this out because the last thing I want to do is go to the store and get more lights.  I didn't want to put this MF'er up in the first place. Ah... I find a string of 'candy corn' lights from Halloween!  Bingo. And on the tree they go.  I found a string of purple lights I had.  Yep, those go on it, too.  We're getting somewhere.  Scratch that.  No, we aren't.  When I stepped back after this entire fiasco, it is just one big CLUSTERF#UCK!  You can't even tell I added lights to it to try and hide the clusterf#cked parts.  Looks like this one will be dragged out to the trash, too, lights and all.  Two weeks and it's gone.

  I'm not sure I can even call this a Charlie Brown xmas tree... It's just even more sad than that.

And yes, I'm sure I could go to the store and buy some more lights and add them in, but I really just don't even care at this point.  How sad is that?

Let's Take Christ Out of Christmas

I'm a grinch.  I'm a scrooge.  And here's why.  I say we take the Christ out of Christmas once and for all.  I love watching (c)hristians begin to profusely sweat because heathens are suing cities for having nativity scenes in public places.  One of my other favourites is watching them try to protest stores that say "happy holidays" instead of "merry christmas".  I don't see why it matters.  Holidays/Christmas are neither happy nor merry.

I read a story from 'black friday 2012' where two people were shot in Tallahassee, Florida.  The gist was as follows: "two couples were arguing and one of the men stared firing, before fleeing the scene in his car."  I think I have made my point.  The 'Christ in Christmas' has been taken out a long time ago.  I believe someone was shot last year as well.  This wasn't an isolated incident. Crazy Americans and their guns or is it simply crazy Americans and Christmas or is it just crazy Americans?  These are questions I ponder on a regular basis, but I digress.

Anyway, I will take back EVERYTHING I just said if someone buys me the tree below.  I will even put a nativity scene under it if you can find me a purple Jesus to go with it! Gawd do I love purple and I would even consider keeping this up all year long.

Oh and feel free to purchase anything from The Purple Store for me to celebrate winter solstice 2012 since I don't celebrate "_mas".  It so happens that winter solstice is also doomsday (again), which means you won't have to pay the bill anyway!

Also, I'd like to go out with a 'bang' if you know what I mean and what better way than with a pair of Purple Go-Go Boots.