I D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y have Issues with Spelling

I wrote an entry awhile back about my problems with forgetting things. That post involved me not knowing what the hell kind of car I owned.  Now I'm having issues with the spelling of words.  People have called me a 'grammar nazi' in the past, but quite honestly, I'm not all that great at grammar and spelling.  I look up words all the time and also check the Grammar Girl website sometimes when writing.  I think that the difference for me with spelling and grammar is that I would rather look it up and be correct than guess and be wrong. 

My forgetfulness lately is troubling.  I like to think that for common words, I am a decent speller.  If you use firefox, then you know about the feature where it will underline any misspelled words in red and you can then right click to get spelling suggestions to correct it.  I am misspelling words so badly that I am not even getting suggestions.  The other day I tried to spell the word 'cute' as 'qute'.  Excuse me, but W.T.F.?  If I had a better memory at the moment, I could give more examples, but alas, I cannot remember any more.  This is bad.  This is really bad.  I don't know what is wrong with me.  I feel like my daughter....

About 7 years ago when she was 13 and my son was 6, she had made a post on her MySpace that said "Mushrooms vs. Unions".  I said "Yo, what is this about?" and she said "You know, 'Mushrooms vs. Unions' (onions)... I'm trying to find out what my friends like better on their pizza."   I said, "Are you kidding me right now?"  So, I turn to my 6-year-old son and said, "Hey, do you know how to spell onions?" and he said, "I'm not sure, but I know it starts with an 'O'..."   Boy, did she feel like a dumb ass.  I still don't think she knows how to spell onions.   Ahhh... at least one kid in my family knows how to freakin' spell.....  Good grief.   

Here's the kicker... just last week, I get a letter in the mail from the school stating that my son (who is now 13) qualified for the Spelling Bee as he was one of the top scorers and should plan on staying after school for the practices.  I show him the letter and he says, "I'm not doing that!"   I'm so proud.... {insert eye roll here}

Anyway, the point here is not to tell you how irritating it is to have a daughter who can't freakin' spell or the fact that I am having more senior moments.  It is to say that there are some words that people misspell that really just irritate the living shit out of me.  Definitely is definitely one of them.  I came across this website a few years ago and was severely pissed I didn't come up with it first.  Check out the 'hall of shame' link at the bottom. And to that I say, GOOD!  Those idiots should be shamed.
http://www.d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y.com/  

If there is one thing you can grab from this post today, it is that you definitely need to learn how to spell definitely correctly.  Next time, we'll work on the correct spelling of 'privilege'.  I will pound into your head repeatedly that there are definitely no D's or A's involved in that word whatsoever.

Seasons of Joy(lessness)

This is a season of joylessness.  I just love seasons of joy because anyone that knows me knows how much I love being joyful and seasons that involve that.  I thought that I would come up with the top 9 things that bring me joy because 8 wouldn't be enough.

There's so much joy below, I couldn't possibly go in any particular order...

9)  Rudolph Car Decorations
I don't even have the words to describe what I thought when I saw this for the first time.  The joy I felt just exuded from my insides.  Speechless really.  I had to post a picture for full effect. 

8)  Bell Ringers in Front of the Grocery Store Blocking all Entrances Behind the Scented Pine Cones 
It brings me great joy that not only am I on my way to spend ridiculous amounts of money on groceries to feed my son who eats everything in sight leaving me no leftovers EVER, but I have to fight my way through the Bell Ringers who block both entrances and then merrily say 'Merry Christmas'.  They are always so joyful which makes me feel joyful.  I never feel guilty or awkward walking past them not dropping in change or bills I am not carrying on me.

7)  Accidentally Being in the Wrong Lane in Front of the Mall
This brings me so much joy because I prefer to miss my turn, having to go out of my way at least a mile which only takes about 20 minutes and then come back in front of the mall when I didn't actually mean to be there in the first place.  This is like a little adventure, a small road trip or what I like to call the "scenic route".  Good times!

6)  Kids and Their Ever-Changing Minds
I love the joy of having just spent $199 on a Kindle Fire after you asked your son 292837293874239487 times what he wants for xmas and replies, "I don't know" 292837293874239487 back only to say "Hey, I just thought of something I wanted!"... Oh the joy I got in saying, "Too bad, sucka.  I already got your present." 

5)  Hummers, Singers and Whistlers
There is so much joy in shopping and listening to hummers, singers and whistlers in the same aisle as me.  I love it.  You can't imagine what I'm thinking inside when someone next to me by the sour cream is singing "Do You Hear What I Hear???"

4)  My Drunk Brother and His Girlfriend Who Hates Me
It will bring me joy on xmas day when... wait.........

3)  Hallmark Xmas Movies
These movies are nothing but pure joy.  None of them are the same storyline.  They all have exceptional actors.  They are on 24/7 which is great because you can watch them at any time during the day or night.  The plots are so fascinating and original and...the best of all???  They NEVER repeat the same one twice, especially right in a row.

2)  Colorized Version of "It's a Wonderful Life"
I just love how real it looks.  Instant joy. It doesn't take away from the film at all.  I wasn't too thrilled the other day when I went to go buy a copy of it and found that it included the original black and white version, too.  I'm not sure why they did that.  I'll probably just toss that one out.  They didn't just have a colored version to purchase.  I *HAD* to buy it as a set... for $24!  I think selling it with the black and white version is just a ploy.

1)  Home Shopping Network
Actually, this one does bring me a shit-ton of joy... for real.  No lines, no parking of cars, no people... It's the only way I shop.  I thought I better throw a real joy in the list.  I'm really not as grouchy as I sound.  I'm much, much worse.  ;O

Game On, Trunk-Dwellers!

Oh yes, game on!  Apparently complaining to my apartment complex about noisy neighbors for two years does nothing.  Perhaps management is too afraid to say anything because what lives above me are actually two elephants who smoke bongs with a screaming baby.  Well, I'm not certain the baby smokes the bong, but I think it should because then it might stop screaming.

I am not really anti-smoking of bongs.  In fact, I encourage it.  Smoke all the bongs you want.  Smoke two at once, if you can.  More power to you.  What I am against is coughing, laughing, pounding, running, screaming, banging and a plethora of other loud, obnoxious noises 24/7.

I am getting old and in my old(er) age, I would really enjoy peace and quiet at this point in my life.  Why is this so hard to achieve?  My thought is that it is time to play the game.  I have been plotting their demise for 2 years now.  Okay, demise might be a little bit harsh, at least too harsh to write on a blog as that would be proof to such a thing.  Me and the elephants have already had several screaming matches and apparently I'm a f#ucking b!tich.  Well, duh... here's a news flash - this isn't a news flash!

I know for a fact they are college students, so we definitely are NOT of the same generation anything and I'm pretty sure that I could be really annoying by playing some of the CDs I have in my collection the next time things start going down. (The fact that I just said I have 'CDs in my collection' is probably proof enough that we are not.... never mind)

Oh, did I mention that the walls are paper thin?  Yes, so thin that I can actually hear their conversations even at a normal tone.  This is quite a lovely notion because that means they can hear mine.  I do hope they like it when I am having perimenopausal rage and discussing my yearly mammogram results with my doctor... but I digress.  So... this leaves me to the only question of WHICH of my CDs at a very high decibel would make them vomit the most?  Here are the top choices I've come up with:

1.  Danzig - Danzig

2.  The Eagles Greatest Hits

3.  Tori Amos - Little Earthquakes

4.  Duran Duran - Decade

5.  Disco Fever - Greatest Hits

Or maybe I should just put them all in on shuffle and go shopping for the afternoon...........

   

Let's Take Christ Out of Christmas

I'm a grinch.  I'm a scrooge.  And here's why.  I say we take the Christ out of Christmas once and for all.  I love watching (c)hristians begin to profusely sweat because heathens are suing cities for having nativity scenes in public places.  One of my other favourites is watching them try to protest stores that say "happy holidays" instead of "merry christmas".  I don't see why it matters.  Holidays/Christmas are neither happy nor merry.

I read a story from 'black friday 2012' where two people were shot in Tallahassee, Florida.  The gist was as follows: "two couples were arguing and one of the men stared firing, before fleeing the scene in his car."  I think I have made my point.  The 'Christ in Christmas' has been taken out a long time ago.  I believe someone was shot last year as well.  This wasn't an isolated incident. Crazy Americans and their guns or is it simply crazy Americans and Christmas or is it just crazy Americans?  These are questions I ponder on a regular basis, but I digress.

Anyway, I will take back EVERYTHING I just said if someone buys me the tree below.  I will even put a nativity scene under it if you can find me a purple Jesus to go with it! Gawd do I love purple and I would even consider keeping this up all year long.

Oh and feel free to purchase anything from The Purple Store for me to celebrate winter solstice 2012 since I don't celebrate "_mas".  It so happens that winter solstice is also doomsday (again), which means you won't have to pay the bill anyway!

Also, I'd like to go out with a 'bang' if you know what I mean and what better way than with a pair of Purple Go-Go Boots.

Insomnia - I Hate You

It's after 3AM.  I've been trying to sleep for over three hours now.  I'm exhausted yet wide awake.  There is no point to this blog post at all, so do not expect any greatness or wisdom about insomnia to emerge from it because you will not find that here.  Not being able to sleep has been one of my worst enemies for years.  It's a son of a bitch.  It's a mother effin' nightmare without being asleep.  Ironic, isn't it?  The worst part is that I have a headache that won't go away.  That means I can't even do anything productive while I'm not sleeping.  Writing this is painful.  You reading it probably is as well.

Damn it. I even took my prescribed sleeping pill which apparently is a joke, so I'm not sure why I even bother half the time.  

Who am I talking to?  The clock?  My water bottle?  The man on TV trying to sell me a used car?  I didn't even know they had infomercials for used cars?! "U.S. Auto Credit"  Now that sounds completely legit!  ChooseMyPayment.com? Yeah, I'm thinking I'll pass on that one.  I think I'll choose NOT SO MUCH.

The Gawds of Sleep - Why have you forsaken me?   Aww, f-bomb. 

Although this is not me in the image above, the resemblance at the moment is uncanny.

 

Dude, What's My Car?

I was told it this was a "senior moment".  I was told it happens to all of us.  I was given a "hehe" when I told this story to someone very close to me.  I don't see how this can be a senior moment when I am still 20(+/-) years away from LEGALLY being a senior, but I will continue with my senior moment story anyway.

I just got a new (used) car and wanted to make a copy of the key as I only have one and also because my daughter uses it quite frequently (as you know she sucks me dry in every area of my life, so I might as well just make her a copy of my car key too).  And when I say I just got a car, I mean a month ago.  Yes, it was the middle of October for sure.

I am standing there with my car key and give it to the kid behind the counter and he asks me what kind of car it is so he can find the right blank to make the copy.  Do you think I have any clue what my car is?  Nope.  Not one.  Couldn't remember what kind of car I owned.  I said, "Oh my, I forgot what kind of car I have.  I just bought it." (Lie)...  He sort of laughed (at me)?  I said again, "Oh my gosh.. I know it's a 2001!!!"  He sort of laughed again (at me this time for sure)!   He said to my son, "Hey buddy, why don't you do me a favour and run outside and check to see what kind of car your mom has!"  Oh my gawd!  How embarrassing.  I snapped at him, "NO!  I will remember!  Hold on a second!"  Still nothing is coming to mind.  I am frantically looking around the store trying to remember, looking for a clue as to what the hell kind of car I own.  All that is coming to mind is my old car. Dude, what's my car?????? I can feel the blood rushing to my face as we are all just standing there waiting for an answer to this very simple question.  I turn and ask my son (who couldn't possibly have any less interest in cars if he tried), "Do you know what kind of car it is?" ”Nope", he says.  Great...   Okay, okay, I know it's black.  I know it's a 2001....  This can't be that difficult....

Everything was going in slow motion.  I wanted to run out of the store.

AHHHHHHHHH!  WAIT!

CHEVY CAVALIER!!!!!!!!!!

Whew.

Yes, this really happened.  Senior moment? You tell me.

This is my "WEB...LOG", Jen.

Rebekaches and Other Likely Symptoms...

What is this you ask?   Why I don't even know myself.  Oh how I hate the word "blog".  My sister laughed at me the other day because I said the word blog and I wanted to punch myself in the nose because I have always hated the word ever since I heard it back in, oh say, 1998?  I remember thinking "what a stupid, effin' word".   I said to her, "What do you want me to say, WEB...LOG?"  So, in short, this is my B...LOG.

I can be a bit of complainer, a whiner, and even a drama queen on occasion, but I am just very misunderstood and people can be very unkind (insert drama here).  However, I am attempting to try and find the positive in this world since I am getting old(er) and my life is probably more than half over (more drama here).  Usually, though, I'm too blind to see the good in people.  This could have something to do with an eye twitch I've had on my right lower lid since June. 

I will have some things to say here (or bitch about) and I guess that's where the "aches" part of Rebekaches comes in.  And, yes, there will be other likely "symptoms" to follow. That will probably be the part where you leave and don't come back.  There may be a laugh or two, but don't count on it.  I'm really not all that funny unless you ask my 20-year-old daughter who pretty much laughs at everything I say.  I don't know if it's because I am truly funny or she is just easily amused.  I tend to think it is the latter of the two.

Well, the real reason for this post is not because I wanted to introduce this WEB...LOG, but rather because I am a perfectionist, especially when it comes to website design and I needed a new post to configure the text colours.  I really don't even know who I am talking to at the moment.  I think it's just me.  This is fine.  I'm good with that.  Oh, I think I'll add in a photo just for fun because I like to amuse the masses of no one and I love Canada and hockey, but there is no hockey right now.  I will save that for another post ......

- Rebeka -

This is important information about me, so pay attention... huh... this would probably be more interesting if it was about someone else, but that would be really odd.

So, I love to read books if and when I don't have some strange twitch in my eye which it just so happens that I do at the moment.   It's been going on since June ('12) and it is becoming very disturbing, not only for me but for those who want me to look them in the eye.

I am a lover of music.  If you don’t listen to what I listen to, you should just turn yours off and listen to mine. 

I write poetry, if one can call it that. Someone I know, who likes to refer to themselves as 'anonymous', called me a "fine writer" once.  Is that an insult or a compliment? This has been an ongoing battle in my head ever since.  

And while we are on the topic of "writing", I am going to say this now and only once.  I am by no means a "writer".  I suck at it.  I am terrible at grammar and spelling, but I will be the first to tell you that you are wrong and correct you whenever possible.  That's just how I roll.  Sorry.

I love wine, but drink it rarely. When I do partake, I will usually consume the entire bottle. I consider that "in moderation". 

I love to "discuss" politics and religion, particularly at the dinner table and not necessarily in that order.

I'm a reality TV "whore", but don’t judge. We all have our guilty pleasures and at least I didn't mention how much I love disco.

I have many fears.  I won't bother listing them all because it would be easier to list what I don't fear.  I will name a few, however.  I don't like crossing bridges or being on bridges.  And I really hate when people tell me it's irrational and nothing is going to happen.  That's bullshit.  Bridges have collapsed, so don't tell me that, jerk.  And of course it's irrational.  That's what fears are.  The only other one I will tell you is that I fear that this blog is a waste of my time.  You can decide on that one.

I am an incessant insomniac and this really bothers me especially when I'm trying to sleep. 

I love hockey. That's all I've got on that one because well... hockey is life. Exactly.  Glad we see eye to eye.

Apparently I love using "quotes" a lot when they are not necessary.  

If you actually read all of the above, you're weird.