Seasons of Joy(lessness)

This is a season of joylessness.  I just love seasons of joy because anyone that knows me knows how much I love being joyful and seasons that involve that.  I thought that I would come up with the top 9 things that bring me joy because 8 wouldn't be enough.

There's so much joy below, I couldn't possibly go in any particular order...

9)  Rudolph Car Decorations
I don't even have the words to describe what I thought when I saw this for the first time.  The joy I felt just exuded from my insides.  Speechless really.  I had to post a picture for full effect. 

8)  Bell Ringers in Front of the Grocery Store Blocking all Entrances Behind the Scented Pine Cones 
It brings me great joy that not only am I on my way to spend ridiculous amounts of money on groceries to feed my son who eats everything in sight leaving me no leftovers EVER, but I have to fight my way through the Bell Ringers who block both entrances and then merrily say 'Merry Christmas'.  They are always so joyful which makes me feel joyful.  I never feel guilty or awkward walking past them not dropping in change or bills I am not carrying on me.

7)  Accidentally Being in the Wrong Lane in Front of the Mall
This brings me so much joy because I prefer to miss my turn, having to go out of my way at least a mile which only takes about 20 minutes and then come back in front of the mall when I didn't actually mean to be there in the first place.  This is like a little adventure, a small road trip or what I like to call the "scenic route".  Good times!

6)  Kids and Their Ever-Changing Minds
I love the joy of having just spent $199 on a Kindle Fire after you asked your son 292837293874239487 times what he wants for xmas and replies, "I don't know" 292837293874239487 back only to say "Hey, I just thought of something I wanted!"... Oh the joy I got in saying, "Too bad, sucka.  I already got your present." 

5)  Hummers, Singers and Whistlers
There is so much joy in shopping and listening to hummers, singers and whistlers in the same aisle as me.  I love it.  You can't imagine what I'm thinking inside when someone next to me by the sour cream is singing "Do You Hear What I Hear???"

4)  My Drunk Brother and His Girlfriend Who Hates Me
It will bring me joy on xmas day when... wait.........

3)  Hallmark Xmas Movies
These movies are nothing but pure joy.  None of them are the same storyline.  They all have exceptional actors.  They are on 24/7 which is great because you can watch them at any time during the day or night.  The plots are so fascinating and original and...the best of all???  They NEVER repeat the same one twice, especially right in a row.

2)  Colorized Version of "It's a Wonderful Life"
I just love how real it looks.  Instant joy. It doesn't take away from the film at all.  I wasn't too thrilled the other day when I went to go buy a copy of it and found that it included the original black and white version, too.  I'm not sure why they did that.  I'll probably just toss that one out.  They didn't just have a colored version to purchase.  I *HAD* to buy it as a set... for $24!  I think selling it with the black and white version is just a ploy.

1)  Home Shopping Network
Actually, this one does bring me a shit-ton of joy... for real.  No lines, no parking of cars, no people... It's the only way I shop.  I thought I better throw a real joy in the list.  I'm really not as grouchy as I sound.  I'm much, much worse.  ;O

Random Acts of Cruelness and Happy Thanksgiving

I have no doubt in my mind that there are people that get their rocks off by running around sprinkling their little random acts of kindness in the world.  Yay for them. *disturbing eye roll*  I don't have rocks to get off, so I don't comprehend sprinkling much of anything.  Well, that's not exactly true. (I mean it's true that I don't have any rocks, but not true that I ....)  I do have a kind side at times is what I'm saying.  It highly depends on how much wine I've had.

I remember when I was working my office job many years ago and came back from lunch one day to find a Hersey's Kiss on my desk with a note that read "Just a Random Act of Kindness - Enjoy Your Day".  I was young then... and not so jaded. I remember thinking how nice that was and I probably actually ended up enjoying my day.  How silly is that?

I'm pretty sure if that happened now, my first thought would be who poisoned the chocolate, how did they do it, and why?  Then I would proceed to throw it in the trash.  That's what 20 years of Random Acts of Cruelness will do to a person.  I've seen this played out the most at the grocery store.  I think it's because I've shopped hella times at one over the years.  It's a nightmare every single instance no matter the day, the hour, or my reason for being there.  Everyone at the grocery store is an evil bastard.  The main thing I've learned is that no one gives a f#ck when acquiring groceries.  (yes, myself included) 

So what is my point?  The point is - I am thrilled that for the next three days, I do not have to step foot into a grocery store. My sister and her family are in town for the holiday and staying at my mother's.  My mother LOVES grocery shopping AND she buys Hershey Kisses which I do not believe to be poisoned.  (errrr... I might be skipping those just in case...)  Oh and I also won't have to inhale any tainted pine cones.  Double score!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

This is my mother's "pineapple turkey" centerpiece she's so incredibly proud of.  Good gawd, seriously mom?  If it wasn't for her mad cooking skillz, I don't know if I could handle the next three days.

This shit is so not cool...

Cinnamon Scented Pine Cones Make My Nose Bleed

Is there something mystical about scented pine cones that I am unaware of?  Is there some magical power they possess that makes shoppers go crazy and overspend after getting a huge whiff of them before going into a store?  You would think so because every year when the holidays come around, I have noticed that many stores put big ass boxes of scented pine cones completely blocking the entrance way to their store.  You can smell them before you even get out of your freakin' car.

I went into Michaels Craft Store today and about fell over not only from all the scented pine cones at the main entrance, but those sitting in a bin down the main aisle and then again down the pine cone aisle.  (Yes, there was an effin' pine cone aisle!)  I did not venture down it out of fear that I may start convulsing, but it was there, permeating the entire store with its stinky stank.  "SCENTED PINE CONES" signs everywhere.  W. T. F.?!

Who thought this was a good idea to mix cinnamon and pine cones?  I have lived near pine trees my whole life and I actually like the smell of PINE!  Is there something wrong with PINE SCENTED PINE CONES?

This cinnamon debacle made me leave the store sooner than I probably would have, but this is not a bad thing.  I didn't spend over the amount on the gift card I had and I got a shit-ton of glitter.  (Shout out and thank you to Christine!)  Dear gawd, I have been home now for 2 hours and my nose is still feeling the after effects.  Although my nose is not really bleeding, I almost wish it would just to relieve it the pain and misery I am going through.

This is at the entrance to the grocery store. 
Not one, not two, but THREE bins of these mf'ers!

We wouldn't want to run low on them or anything...

While we are on the topic of cinnamon, if you have not heard or seen the "cinnamon challenge" that people attempt, it is not only quite stupid, it seems rather dangerous.  I don't recommend it and although I've never tried it, it’s pretty comical to watch other people choke when they try to swallow a spoonful of it.  The video below is one that I found on YouTube that I thought was pretty funny.  This mom and son are hilarious. Enjoy!!!!!