Winter Solstice Gets the Shaft

The shortest day of the year gets the shaft today.  Doomsday 12.21.12 has obviously not happened.  Great, now I really do have to pay for that Kindle Fire I just purchased for my son.

For those of us who do not really get that overwhelming xmas 'feeling', I guess this must be our day.  Starting tomorrow the days will get longer...   wait... who the hell wants longer days? 

Either way, I hope everyone has a beautiful, enchanting, winter solstice celebration by doing whatever it is one does to celebrate.  Perhaps you can make this recipe and enjoy an evening getting smashed on some wassail.  Start anytime.  It's 5 o'clock somewhere. 

Solstice Wassail

INGREDIENTS
 

2 pints and 1/4 cup brown ale or winter ale
 

3 or 4 cinnamon sticks
 

4 cloves
 

Zest from half a lemon
 

4 apples
 

1 1/2 cups brown sugar
 

1 cup port
 

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
 

1/4 teaspoon ground all spice
 

1/4 teaspoon ground cardamom
 

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

Brandy until you get drunk (optional, but I don't see why you wouldn't)

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DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 350° F.

In a large saucepan, pour in two pints of ale. Add the cinnamon sticks, lemon zest and cloves and bring to a simmer over low heat.

Score apples around their circumferences with a knife. Place in a baking dish. Cover with 1 cup brown sugar, 1/4 cup of ale and all of the port. Cover baking dish and place in oven, cooking for 30 minutes.

While apples are baking, place remaining sugar and spices into the saucepan, ensuring it’s well mixed.

When apples are done baking, place entire contents of baking dish into saucepan. Allow to cook over a low heat for another 30–40 minutes.

Adding Brandy is always a holiday spirit "lifter" (umm, yeah.)

Serve hot in 6-8 mugs.  

Drink until you don't care about the long day of a hangover you will have tomorrow.

 

Cinnamon Scented Pine Cones Make My Nose Bleed

Is there something mystical about scented pine cones that I am unaware of?  Is there some magical power they possess that makes shoppers go crazy and overspend after getting a huge whiff of them before going into a store?  You would think so because every year when the holidays come around, I have noticed that many stores put big ass boxes of scented pine cones completely blocking the entrance way to their store.  You can smell them before you even get out of your freakin' car.

I went into Michaels Craft Store today and about fell over not only from all the scented pine cones at the main entrance, but those sitting in a bin down the main aisle and then again down the pine cone aisle.  (Yes, there was an effin' pine cone aisle!)  I did not venture down it out of fear that I may start convulsing, but it was there, permeating the entire store with its stinky stank.  "SCENTED PINE CONES" signs everywhere.  W. T. F.?!

Who thought this was a good idea to mix cinnamon and pine cones?  I have lived near pine trees my whole life and I actually like the smell of PINE!  Is there something wrong with PINE SCENTED PINE CONES?

This cinnamon debacle made me leave the store sooner than I probably would have, but this is not a bad thing.  I didn't spend over the amount on the gift card I had and I got a shit-ton of glitter.  (Shout out and thank you to Christine!)  Dear gawd, I have been home now for 2 hours and my nose is still feeling the after effects.  Although my nose is not really bleeding, I almost wish it would just to relieve it the pain and misery I am going through.

This is at the entrance to the grocery store. 
Not one, not two, but THREE bins of these mf'ers!

We wouldn't want to run low on them or anything...

While we are on the topic of cinnamon, if you have not heard or seen the "cinnamon challenge" that people attempt, it is not only quite stupid, it seems rather dangerous.  I don't recommend it and although I've never tried it, it’s pretty comical to watch other people choke when they try to swallow a spoonful of it.  The video below is one that I found on YouTube that I thought was pretty funny.  This mom and son are hilarious. Enjoy!!!!!