Not-So-Retro-Owls

When I was growing up in the the '70s, I remember having some pretty groovy owl jewelry, some bookends and I think a few figurines on my dresser.  I still love owls and have a few around the house (nothing crazy as I am not an insane collector of anything - maybe dust - but that's neither here nor there) but over the last several years the whole "retro owl" trend thing has just pissed me off.  Not only are they not even RETRO looking, they are pretty much on every dumb ass thing you can purchase.  It's so annoying to me that this is actually a "trend", that I want to throw all my owls out the window and stab those little effers in their big hooty eyes.  (Okay, that's a bit much, but I take the '70s seriously!)

To get a better understanding of what I mean, go take a peek at Etsy.com (the biggest culprit of this BS) and search "retro owls".  At any given moment you can really have your fill of not-so-retro pukified owl items. It's a real freakin' nightmare.

Here are just a few examples I found... 

Retro Owl Dog Collar
And you'd want this on your dog....why?

Retro Owl Green Bottle Cap Magnet
What?

Retro Owl Pocket Diaper
Nothing holds your infant's digested carrots and peas cuter than this, right?

  












Retro Owl Kindle Cover
Um, not so much.

So, my point is, let's stop with the not-so-retro-owl shit.  Because that is what it is, SHIT.  Go to your vintage shop, Goodwill store, or somewhere like the back of your grandmother's closet and find an owl there to display if you want one so badly.  That's a retro-owl! And please, for gawd sake's do NOT, under any circumstance, make anything with owl fabric that was not spun and woven 45+ years ago.

Thanks.

 

Game On, Trunk-Dwellers!

Oh yes, game on!  Apparently complaining to my apartment complex about noisy neighbors for two years does nothing.  Perhaps management is too afraid to say anything because what lives above me are actually two elephants who smoke bongs with a screaming baby.  Well, I'm not certain the baby smokes the bong, but I think it should because then it might stop screaming.

I am not really anti-smoking of bongs.  In fact, I encourage it.  Smoke all the bongs you want.  Smoke two at once, if you can.  More power to you.  What I am against is coughing, laughing, pounding, running, screaming, banging and a plethora of other loud, obnoxious noises 24/7.

I am getting old and in my old(er) age, I would really enjoy peace and quiet at this point in my life.  Why is this so hard to achieve?  My thought is that it is time to play the game.  I have been plotting their demise for 2 years now.  Okay, demise might be a little bit harsh, at least too harsh to write on a blog as that would be proof to such a thing.  Me and the elephants have already had several screaming matches and apparently I'm a f#ucking b!tich.  Well, duh... here's a news flash - this isn't a news flash!

I know for a fact they are college students, so we definitely are NOT of the same generation anything and I'm pretty sure that I could be really annoying by playing some of the CDs I have in my collection the next time things start going down. (The fact that I just said I have 'CDs in my collection' is probably proof enough that we are not.... never mind)

Oh, did I mention that the walls are paper thin?  Yes, so thin that I can actually hear their conversations even at a normal tone.  This is quite a lovely notion because that means they can hear mine.  I do hope they like it when I am having perimenopausal rage and discussing my yearly mammogram results with my doctor... but I digress.  So... this leaves me to the only question of WHICH of my CDs at a very high decibel would make them vomit the most?  Here are the top choices I've come up with:

1.  Danzig - Danzig

2.  The Eagles Greatest Hits

3.  Tori Amos - Little Earthquakes

4.  Duran Duran - Decade

5.  Disco Fever - Greatest Hits

Or maybe I should just put them all in on shuffle and go shopping for the afternoon...........