Here's a Good Idea - Pour Milk Over Your Head

I posted awhile back a video of a mom and son doing The Cinnamon Challenge which did have its semi-funny results.  After reading the book Choke by Chuck Palahniuk, I have a different perspective of people choking now, so I lean more to being open about 'the cinnamon challenge' being funny instead of stupid.  No doubt it was highly stupid, but funny if I am in the right mood for stupidity.

There was also "Planking" for the severely bored (board?). I didn't really get that one.  I guess the ones that were a bit more daredevilish were sort of interesting, but mostly I found the images to be rather mundane.  I guess some skill is involved.  I think I'd actually be pretty good at it because I played "Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board" all the time at slumber parties.

I guess when planking become boring, they upped the ante to "Batmanning".  I will assume this is obvious as to what it means, but if not, here is a picture.  In my opinion, this was straight up stolen from The Lost Boys.  I call ULTRA-BULLSHIT.

Then when batmanning wasn't enough, "Owling" came along in its place.  Seriously?   Well, you already know my feelings about owls at the present time.  

But, I think things have progressed (regressed...) to a new low.  At least in the previous ones, they were somewhat entertaining and I only say that because some of them had interesting scenery.  However, this new one is just f#cking dumb.  It's called "Milking".  If you're not sure what this one is, don't worry it doesn't have anything to do with cows.  This is how it works:

1.  Stand in front of a camera and dump a carton of milk over your head.

2. Wait for internet fame.

I have to admit that I am truly grateful this was not started by Americans.  It was started in Britain by some students protesting tuition hikes.  (Makes perfect sense to me!)  Americans are already dumb enough so we don't need any further publicity on that end of the spectrum.  Besides that, if we fall over this cliff they're talking about, gallons of milk are going to be anywhere from $6 to $9 come the middle of January.  I don't have that kind of money to become famous.

Seasons of Joy(lessness)

This is a season of joylessness.  I just love seasons of joy because anyone that knows me knows how much I love being joyful and seasons that involve that.  I thought that I would come up with the top 9 things that bring me joy because 8 wouldn't be enough.

There's so much joy below, I couldn't possibly go in any particular order...

9)  Rudolph Car Decorations
I don't even have the words to describe what I thought when I saw this for the first time.  The joy I felt just exuded from my insides.  Speechless really.  I had to post a picture for full effect. 

8)  Bell Ringers in Front of the Grocery Store Blocking all Entrances Behind the Scented Pine Cones 
It brings me great joy that not only am I on my way to spend ridiculous amounts of money on groceries to feed my son who eats everything in sight leaving me no leftovers EVER, but I have to fight my way through the Bell Ringers who block both entrances and then merrily say 'Merry Christmas'.  They are always so joyful which makes me feel joyful.  I never feel guilty or awkward walking past them not dropping in change or bills I am not carrying on me.

7)  Accidentally Being in the Wrong Lane in Front of the Mall
This brings me so much joy because I prefer to miss my turn, having to go out of my way at least a mile which only takes about 20 minutes and then come back in front of the mall when I didn't actually mean to be there in the first place.  This is like a little adventure, a small road trip or what I like to call the "scenic route".  Good times!

6)  Kids and Their Ever-Changing Minds
I love the joy of having just spent $199 on a Kindle Fire after you asked your son 292837293874239487 times what he wants for xmas and replies, "I don't know" 292837293874239487 back only to say "Hey, I just thought of something I wanted!"... Oh the joy I got in saying, "Too bad, sucka.  I already got your present." 

5)  Hummers, Singers and Whistlers
There is so much joy in shopping and listening to hummers, singers and whistlers in the same aisle as me.  I love it.  You can't imagine what I'm thinking inside when someone next to me by the sour cream is singing "Do You Hear What I Hear???"

4)  My Drunk Brother and His Girlfriend Who Hates Me
It will bring me joy on xmas day when... wait.........

3)  Hallmark Xmas Movies
These movies are nothing but pure joy.  None of them are the same storyline.  They all have exceptional actors.  They are on 24/7 which is great because you can watch them at any time during the day or night.  The plots are so fascinating and original and...the best of all???  They NEVER repeat the same one twice, especially right in a row.

2)  Colorized Version of "It's a Wonderful Life"
I just love how real it looks.  Instant joy. It doesn't take away from the film at all.  I wasn't too thrilled the other day when I went to go buy a copy of it and found that it included the original black and white version, too.  I'm not sure why they did that.  I'll probably just toss that one out.  They didn't just have a colored version to purchase.  I *HAD* to buy it as a set... for $24!  I think selling it with the black and white version is just a ploy.

1)  Home Shopping Network
Actually, this one does bring me a shit-ton of joy... for real.  No lines, no parking of cars, no people... It's the only way I shop.  I thought I better throw a real joy in the list.  I'm really not as grouchy as I sound.  I'm much, much worse.  ;O

Dude, What's My Car?

I was told it this was a "senior moment".  I was told it happens to all of us.  I was given a "hehe" when I told this story to someone very close to me.  I don't see how this can be a senior moment when I am still 20(+/-) years away from LEGALLY being a senior, but I will continue with my senior moment story anyway.

I just got a new (used) car and wanted to make a copy of the key as I only have one and also because my daughter uses it quite frequently (as you know she sucks me dry in every area of my life, so I might as well just make her a copy of my car key too).  And when I say I just got a car, I mean a month ago.  Yes, it was the middle of October for sure.

I am standing there with my car key and give it to the kid behind the counter and he asks me what kind of car it is so he can find the right blank to make the copy.  Do you think I have any clue what my car is?  Nope.  Not one.  Couldn't remember what kind of car I owned.  I said, "Oh my, I forgot what kind of car I have.  I just bought it." (Lie)...  He sort of laughed (at me)?  I said again, "Oh my gosh.. I know it's a 2001!!!"  He sort of laughed again (at me this time for sure)!   He said to my son, "Hey buddy, why don't you do me a favour and run outside and check to see what kind of car your mom has!"  Oh my gawd!  How embarrassing.  I snapped at him, "NO!  I will remember!  Hold on a second!"  Still nothing is coming to mind.  I am frantically looking around the store trying to remember, looking for a clue as to what the hell kind of car I own.  All that is coming to mind is my old car. Dude, what's my car?????? I can feel the blood rushing to my face as we are all just standing there waiting for an answer to this very simple question.  I turn and ask my son (who couldn't possibly have any less interest in cars if he tried), "Do you know what kind of car it is?" ”Nope", he says.  Great...   Okay, okay, I know it's black.  I know it's a 2001....  This can't be that difficult....

Everything was going in slow motion.  I wanted to run out of the store.

AHHHHHHHHH!  WAIT!

CHEVY CAVALIER!!!!!!!!!!

Whew.

Yes, this really happened.  Senior moment? You tell me.