Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Game On, Trunk-Dwellers!

Oh yes, game on!  Apparently complaining to my apartment complex about noisy neighbors for two years does nothing.  Perhaps management is too afraid to say anything because what lives above me are actually two elephants who smoke bongs with a screaming baby.  Well, I'm not certain the baby smokes the bong, but I think it should because then it might stop screaming.

I am not really anti-smoking of bongs.  In fact, I encourage it.  Smoke all the bongs you want.  Smoke two at once, if you can.  More power to you.  What I am against is coughing, laughing, pounding, running, screaming, banging and a plethora of other loud, obnoxious noises 24/7.

I am getting old and in my old(er) age, I would really enjoy peace and quiet at this point in my life.  Why is this so hard to achieve?  My thought is that it is time to play the game.  I have been plotting their demise for 2 years now.  Okay, demise might be a little bit harsh, at least too harsh to write on a blog as that would be proof to such a thing.  Me and the elephants have already had several screaming matches and apparently I'm a f#ucking b!tich.  Well, duh... here's a news flash - this isn't a news flash!

I know for a fact they are college students, so we definitely are NOT of the same generation anything and I'm pretty sure that I could be really annoying by playing some of the CDs I have in my collection the next time things start going down. (The fact that I just said I have 'CDs in my collection' is probably proof enough that we are not.... never mind)

Oh, did I mention that the walls are paper thin?  Yes, so thin that I can actually hear their conversations even at a normal tone.  This is quite a lovely notion because that means they can hear mine.  I do hope they like it when I am having perimenopausal rage and discussing my yearly mammogram results with my doctor... but I digress.  So... this leaves me to the only question of WHICH of my CDs at a very high decibel would make them vomit the most?  Here are the top choices I've come up with:

1.  Danzig - Danzig

2.  The Eagles Greatest Hits

3.  Tori Amos - Little Earthquakes

4.  Duran Duran - Decade

5.  Disco Fever - Greatest Hits

Or maybe I should just put them all in on shuffle and go shopping for the afternoon...........



  1. funny s*it. love the baby bottle bong. see, i'm cool too, i can say bong without a bang. easy on the eagles though, they were my grandmother's fav band ;)

  2. Anonymous - I'm sure my neighbors would love some peaceful, easy, feelings... just like your grandmother. :)

  3. Danzig!!! Or get some death metal!!!!
    Or Danzig, Death metal, and dubstep on shuffle! That will show them!!! lol

  4. Oh, I think you should go with some totally 80s tracks. Start with Duran Duran and then work your way through other vintage classics. Maybe Devo played on repeat?

  5. Kristy - I don't own any death metal because even that would make me insane, but I love dubstep. :-)

  6. Amanda - I am thinking the 80s would be the most annoying, too. Besides the 50s, the 80s are just a horrid decade for music and certainly Duran Duran would be the best to represent them. A little Devo wouldn't hurt either. :)

  7. This reminds me of that video by The All-American Rejects? They're like trying to play scrabble with the garage band going on next door. LOL!


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