Sunday, December 29, 2013

Oh Jesus - You Smiter, You!

I am in complete support of universal health care.  Why?  Because it's the 'right' thing to do. (pun intended)  And quite frankly, I am tired of hearing about how the government web site isn't working properly and how this is ALL our President's fault.  Does anyone remember how great health insurance was before?  Exactly.   I mean come on -  France, of all countries, was ranked #1 in universal health care according to the World Health Organization.  

"The French live two years longer than Americans, with half the infant mortality. France spends less than 11 percent of GDP on health compared to more than 16 percent in the United States. Cancer treatment is free. When Genentech developed Avastin, Business Week calculated a year’s supply at $48,000 in America. It cost patients nothing in France."
 Really people???

Get over it.  It's happening.  And, one last thing.  Gays aren't going away, so plan on treating them for any illnesses, too.

This would be very funny except for the fact that there are those who
think this sh*t is really true.   
It's sad being an American most days.  :|

Monday, December 23, 2013


As some of you may know, my daughter is a pastry chef and she is a creative one at that.  She posted this on her Instagram the other day and it made me start to feel slightly jolly, but don't tell anyone.

I asked her why the top one said "la" on it and she had no idea what I was talking about.  I guess it wasn't meant to say "la", but that was actually my favourite one.  Think about it, a Ninjabreadman saying "la".  That's humourous.   Perhaps I was reading too much into him.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

There Once was a Girl Who Loved Xmas

Yeah, so I really hate xmas.  I just find the whole "CELEBRATION" annoying.  I don't celebrate baby jesus' birth because, well, quite frankly, what's the dude every done for me?  And secondly, his star is entirely way too bright.

However, there once was a girl who loved xmas and that girl happened to be ME! The only reason I know this is because I found the proof in a photo.  I'm pretty sure this was the year I received my "Baby Alive" doll, except the 'food' (I'm not exactly sure what the f#ck that was...) got all moldy down in her little tummy and mom and dad had to throw her away a few weeks later and I only knew her to have gone "missing".  No wonder I have issues. 

Interesting FACTOID straight from Wikipedia about little Baby Alive (and when I say interesting, I mean WTF?!):
"it could be fed food packets mixed with water, and came with a bottle, diapers and feeding spoon. The spoon would be inserted into its mouth, and a lever on its back pushed to have it chew the food. The food would move through her and end up in her diaper; this version did not speak, so you had to check the diaper a few moments after feeding. It also produced droppings and threw up regularly."

Does this sound like something you'd want your child to play with?  I mean seriously.  This is just mental illness waiting to happen.

Since this is THROW BACK THURSDAY (and here I thought this meant throw one back, as in a shot of Stolis - which I still might do later), I thought I'd share this adorable picture of cute little moi from December 1972.  Now, everyone look at it and say, "awwww" because this girl now, in 2013, doesn't get this excited for xmas no mo.

"Yay for xmas and Baby Alive - who will grow mold in her stomach and have to 'go missing'!  Thanks Mom!  Thanks Dad!"  
clap, clap, clap.  

Monday, December 16, 2013

My Non-Clusterf#ck Merry-ish Tree

Last year, around this time, I wrote about my CLUSTERF#CK of a Xmas Tree.  Well, after Xmas was over last year, I tossed that sucker in the dumpster.  Yep, and I was happy to do so.   A few weeks after the holiday was over, I received (possibly as a joke... it must have been, yes...) a two-foot pre-lit tree which I put in the closet and left there unopened.

A week ago, I moved into a new house and after packing and preparing for this move over the last two months, there was no way in hell I was going to decorate for a holiday I pretty much despise.  Let's just say I am less than merry most of the year as it is and people wishing me to be merry day after day in the freezing cold doesn't make me want to be any merrier than I already am not. 

However, one of my very good friends in Ottawa sent me a set of six Ottawa Sens ornaments last March (yes, well she is always a bit late with things, but gawd bless her Canadian soul).  Let's see, six ornaments, a two-foot (60.96 cm) pre-lit tree... not much Xmas merry-ness.... how could I NOT put it up? 

This year, I consider my 60.96 cm Xmas tree with my six Ottawa Senators ornaments to be very non-clusterf#ck-like.

Unfortunately, my semi-merry-ish spirit has not really been effective in the sens(e) that The Sens have been playing very non-merrily this season. 

Love me, Love my Sens, Love my Xmas Sens Tree

Monday, September 23, 2013

A Cross between the Cartoon Character Ziggy and an Anemic Lump of Jelly

A cross between the cartoon character Ziggy and an anemic lump of jelly... well put for sure!  This would be an accurate description of the blobfish; a deep sea fish that lives in the waters off the coasts of mainland Australia (not surprised) as well as other places, islands or whatever else is in that area of the world.  I believe it's all close to Iraq, isn't it?

Apparently this fish was just recently voted the ugliest animal alive.  That would also be another reason why I don't really eat creatures from the sea.  Personally, I think Ted Cruz should have been the winner.  I hear it was a VERY close second. 

source :

 Hooroo mate.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Dear Dad...

It appears one has flown over the cuckoo's nest.  And when I say ONE, I mean ME.  It has been almost 5 years to the date since you've been gone and when I say GONE, I mean gone as in dead, deceased, passed on, crossed over... but you were long gone before that.  We know that you had mental illness, too.  You were highly OCD.   Remember how you would make us late all the time because you had to check and re-check to make sure we (all us girls) had turned off our hairdryers, curling irons, etc?  As if we could just leave a hairdryer running and not know it...

Your issues were passed along to your favourite middle daughter, ME!  SURPRISE!   Although, you never really called me your favorite middle daughter.  You usually just said I wasn't as dumb as I looked.  Maybe that's because my hairdryer was never actually running on its own when you went back the third or fourth time to make sure.  I know it was the '80s and all, and yes, we did overuse hairspray, curling irons and hairdryers, but seriously, Dad.  I didn't look THAT dumb, did I? 

I just wanted you to know, even though you probably can't read this and even if you could, you would only be wondering why I haven't already dated this instead of wanting to know what I wanted you to know... gawd,  you were pretty OCD about that too.  Everything HAD to have a date and time.  No wonder I can remember days and dates and times and good grief, it's a curse. There are some things I just want to forget and can't.  Thanks for that.  In any case, to make you feel better, Dad... the date is automatically entered when I post this blog.  Do you even know what a blog is?  Probably not.  When I would tell you years ago that I was burning a CD, you'd say "Why do you want to burn your CDs?  Don't you like them?"

Anyway, before I have to hit the big anniversary date of your DEATH and be my dramatic self, I just wanted you to know (trying this again) I'd write this now and say,

Dear Dad,
I miss you something terrible.  If I can make it until May 10th, I will look up (or down...) and say thanks.  You got me here and probably because you did pass along your OCD and other unnamed mental illnesses.  And see... I really wasn't as dumb as I looked... perhaps.
Your favourite middle daughter

 This is a lovely photo of "Dad" and me from October 1984.  Yes, it was dated on the back, but I knew that anyway.  This was at Disney World.  He was probably wondering if I had turned off my curling iron.  Can't imagine why because it didn't do my hair much good (obviously).  And why am I holding his hat?  And why is he sitting like that?  Also, I cut out my younger sister who was sitting on the other side of him.  She was 9 then and wearing a Mickey Mouse hat.  I thought I'd be kind (for once).   The '80s were so cruel.
~mar 1936 - sept 2008~