Saturday, January 26, 2013

99 Cats Appeared on my Wall

The Associated Press had a story out today of a woman in Wright, New York whose home was taken over by a plethora of cats - 67 dead and 99 alive (Alive? I assume barely and not so healthy or happy).  She did have the decency to at least store the dead ones in plastic bags in the freezer, though.  Thank goodness for that.

At what number does one stop saying, "I think I need another cat!"?!??!  Was she trying to maintain 100 at all times?  Oy.  She had a 'hoarder mentality' according to the animal shelter. (Ya, think?) This is just sad.  I have to wonder why it took so long for neighbours to notice the stench.


This takes 'Crazy Cat Lady' to a whole new level.


Thursday, January 24, 2013

Let's Bury the Black Dog

Cleveland is a pretty big rock 'n' roll city.  We are, after all, The Rock 'n' Roll Capital of the World.  We have the The Rock And Roll Hall of Fame Museum here and blah blah blah, right?   There is one thing that really bothers me about Cleveland other than the fact that we have NO NHL TEAM, but I suppose I should just give up on that dream when I am fighting a bunch of loser Browns' fans who think barking like dawgs in something called a "dawg pound" is fun.  Ugh.

We just recently acquired a decent radio station that plays alternative rock (99X).  I'm pretty happy about that because I love alternative rock.  I am, however, a HUGE classic rock fan, too.  We have a radio station that has been around forever, 98.5 WNCX, which plays all classic rock.  We have some other stations that will play a mix of classic rock and alternative rock.  Okay, I get it.  Those stations will play your popular classic rock songs that everyone knows.  For instance, they might throw in songs like Led Zeppelin's "Black Dog" or AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long".   And when I say "throw in", I mean like every two hours, which brings me to my point.  Why on earth do these stations even play classic rock at all?   Who wants to hear "Black Dog"?   No One.  That is the answer.  NO ONE.

Why can't they leave classic rock to the classic rock station?  The problem I am finding, though, is that even 98.5 is playing these same overplayed songs that just need to be put out of their misery.  How many times in my life have I heard "Money" by Pink Floyd?  I can tell you how many.  It's been 1,334,455, 316,792 times.  For real.  If I want to hear a Pink Floyd song, which I most certainly always do, play me freakin' "Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun" or "Careful With That Axe, Eugene". 

Okay, so you're probably thinking why don't I just NOT listen to the radio?  Most of the time, I don't, but I do enjoy it sometimes. Sometimes I would rather not get into an accident trying to locate a CD while I'm driving.  And yes, I still use CDs - I don't have a fancy shmancy IPOD.  I'm lame.

I think for a city that's supposed to be "The Rock 'n' Roll Capital of the WORLD", we are sucking hard.  I just wondered if I am alone in this thinking.  Is it just in Cleveland or everywhere?  Any suggestions on what other songs should be permanently buried with the Black Dog???

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

America aka Stupidville

I have the app 'Scanner Radio' on my Android which alerts me when over 1,000 people are listening to a channel at any given time.  This generally means something major is going on in that county/city with the police and/or fire department.  Over the last two years I heard about a few big incidents before the national news even had reported the story.  For instance, I heard about the collapsing of the stage at the Indiana State Fair and I also had heard about the Newtown shootings in Connecticut last month before it was being reported anywhere.

When I get the notification alert on my phone, I am mortified to see what the hell is going on, but now it's like I'm almost desensitized to shootings anymore.  Yesterday, there were no deaths in the shooting at the college in Texas, so that one was not a big deal, right?  Wrong.  I have to wonder what people of the world must think of our Country and our gun (lame) laws.

I live less than a mile from my County's fairgrounds, which is a huge county; the county that decided the 2008 election and sealed the election for Obama again this year.  Thank you, once again, Ohio.  The fairgrounds hold events all the time and gun shows are no exception.  There was a gun show two weekends ago and I was in utter shock and disgust when I heard that there were cars backed up over a mile from the highway to the entrance just to get in.  Not only that, but according to the local news, the prices of ammunition at this particular gun show had tripled in cost and people were still lined up as this had not deterred anyone from making their purchases.

What the F#CK is wrong with America???

I get more and more weak in the heart to be loyal to a country that worships weapons and the rights to own such weapons that have no purpose other than to kill.  It saddens me that a 230-year-old Constitution that is so obviously outdated and destructive overpowers people's ability to think intelligently.

I will never understand this obsession with guns.  It is embarrassing to me because I see how others on the outside look at us as Americans and it's not a pretty sight.  I just hope that some of them know that we are all not like this and not all of us have such shallow thinking.  As a mother, a future social worker and a person of reason, I want peace and want to be free of guns and violence.  Maybe one day.  Maybe with our current President, this could be possible.  He is like Obi-Wan Kenobi; He is our only hope.  ::: sigh :::

Makes perfect sense...

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

The Ferris Wheel Hauntings

In yesterday's blog post, Lightning Strikes, Maybe Once, Maybe Twice, I briefly mentioned that when I stayed with my grandparents as a child, my grandmother would take me into the basement to play games or play with toys to keep me quiet so my grandfather could watch the evening news.  After writing that post, I had this crazy flashback.  I don't know if I was just a violent little child with a twisted mind or if all kids in the era of fisher price "Little People" and accessories did this.   One of my favourite toys that she had for us to play with was the "Little People Ferris Wheel" shown below.

I do remember being NORMAL in the sense that I would place the LITTLE PEOPLE into their Ferris wheel seats, but the abnormal part was flinging their chairs so they would fly out and then thinking how funny that was.  I'm pretty sure by the time I got to play with this toy, my older cousins had broken the "automatic" knob to make it go around, so I'd turn the Ferris wheel by hand so fast they'd fly across the room as well.  Is this normal for a child who is only three or four years old -or- any age for that matter?

After remembering that sick thought yesterday, my mind flashed forward about 30 years to the county fair about five years ago when I witnessed one of the most creepy moments I have ever witnessed in my life.  I took my kids to the fair for the evening and as I was waiting in front of the Ferris wheel, I happened to catch this woman taking a ride.  She was all alone sitting in this position with that smile on her face for the ten times she went around.  I was mesmerized and couldn't take my eyes off her even though I was completely creeped out.  Thankfully I took a picture because I don't think I could have ever described it to anyone had I not.

 I've shown this picture to people before and they just tell me it's a nice old lady who wanted to enjoy a ride on the Ferris wheel with her 20 gallon soda.  I don't think so, people.   
You weren't there!

Monday, January 21, 2013

Lightning Strikes, Maybe Once, Maybe Twice

I don't know if it's in my blood, but it must be.   My maternal grandfather put it in my head at a very young age by calling me a gypsy.  His family was from Budapest where his father was the editor of the Budapest newspaper.  I guess that is where my mad writing skills come from.  yeah, sure... 

I spent pretty much every day, all day, with my grandparents for about three years while my mother and father owned/worked at their restaurant.  I was not old enough yet for school, so my mother dropped me off with them every morning and I wasn't picked up until late at night.  I know this because my grandmother would take me into the basement to play jump rope or do whatever during the evening news because we had to "be quiet" so my grandfather could watch it in peace. (I get that now... unfortunately)

I remember always wanting to go into my grandmother's dresser drawers to look through her jewelry.  I would try on her necklaces, earrings (she had clip-ons, so this was doable), rings, anything I could get my hands on.  She was always very willing to let me sift through whatever I wanted and play 'dress up'.  She would even apply some hideous bright, red lipstick and we'd laugh while looking in the mirror.  I'm sure my mother was not the least bit amused especially after the time I had perfectly applied her powder blue eye shadow (it was the 70s, what can I say) at the age of three.  If you come to a family dinner, there is a 99% chance she will tell the story.  I think she was actually VERY amused and is now rather forgetful because she tells the story like she has never told it and no one has ever heard it.  [insert eye roll here]

Back to the gypsy thing... I do not have some crazy itch to 'wander'.  The only wandering I've been doing lately has been in my brain and not knowing what kind of car I own or how to spell words, as we all know.  I do, however, feel a strong urgency to know more about my Hungarian background.  Why did my grandfather call me a gypsy?  Why has it rattled my brain for so many years?    And why do I have an obsession with big, gaudy rings, long earrings and necklaces?   I love everything gaudy.  Oh hell, if I could live in one of those gypsy wagons and read tarot cards or scry into a crystal ball all day, I probably would.  I'm not sure I'd have any sort of accuracy, but I think I could learn to love trying.

Okay, back to real life!

I just ordered these gorgeous earrings (custom made) from one of my favourite Etsy stores, TheGypsyRebel or you can find her on facebook, TheGypsyRebel - FB.  You can also find her blog at Murmur of Wings.

I'm saving them for a special occasion, although, I don't know what that is yet.  I can't wait to get them.  They are being shipped out today.  Lindsay does beautiful work with the ability to bring out the gypsy in you even if you aren't quite sure what that is.  She's amazing.  I urge you to check out her store.  She is taking a small break right now until spring, but keep her in mind.

And, here is my proof that from a very young age, I was a gypsy at heart.  My favourite Halloween costume was going as a gypsy.  How cute am I? (rhetorical)  

Little Hungarian Gypsy, 2-years-old

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Ways to be the Hottest Cougar in Town

I know being a 'cougar' is one of the hottest things going on right now, so I'm about to give you some advice on how to make this happen.  Please, read on...

When I found out the hockey lockout was over last week, I was so freakin' happy, but then got really irritated when I realized it would be another season of me watching the games on my stupid laptop.  BUT... it dawned on me that I now own an HDTV that I did NOT own last season.  I knew there was a way to hook up my laptop so I could watch it through my fancy HDTV.

So, I headed to Staples last Friday to the computer department and ask the (young) man what I needed to get in order to make this all happen by this Saturday.  He tells me as long as I have this HDMI thing on my laptop and my TV, I just need one connector cable.  I know that I have this, so I am basically good to go.  I did not purchase this cable because Staples is outrageous in price and ended up ordering it from Ebay instead.  It's on its way.  YESSSSSSSSSS!  I shall have hockey on my TV.

This, of course, has nothing to do with becoming a hot cougar.  I just love hockey.  So, I will move on to the good part you've been reading this for.  When I was talking to him about the cable, he was telling me that he has done this whole HDMI laptop to TV thing for quite some time now and has been enjoying all his shows for a few years and doesn't have any need for cable.  I was thinking, 'wow, how cool... I could really love NOT having cable considering my bill just went up like $30...' and I said to him "But wait... how do you watch the...... newwwsssss" and at that very moment, as soon as I said the word "news" I knew that this 20-something-year-old probably never watched the news in his life.  Then before he could answer I said, "I bet you don't watch the news...", to which he replied,  "No, I don't watch it too often." as he laughed.   How very considerate of him to be so kind as to say he doesn't watch it TOO OFTEN as in NEVER as in WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT (old) LADY?

"Thanks for your help.  I have to go take my Metamucil now."

And I left.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Let's Play a Game: Who Can Find the Speeding Nitwit?

Who doesn't like games, right?

Not naming any names, but someone was driving on the 18th of December, 2012, in a certain city who NEVER drives in this certain city.  And when I say NEVER, I mean maybe twice a year.   Okay, three times a year, because this unnamed person has to drive there again in about two hours, but that's neither here nor there.  When "they" drive in this city, they get extreeeeeme anxiety.  Now, this is no excuse for speeding.  This person knows this.  And it's rather funny (and when I say funny, I mean funny "weird", not funny "haha") that he/she would get a ticket for speeding when they have been repeatedly accused for driving like "an old person" by his/her children.

About a week ago, this unnamed driver received a letter in the mail saying they were going 47 mph in a 35 mph speed zone and now has a $100 ticket to pay.  (It has been paid from what I hear and no points were put on the license.... well isn't that a relief.)  

So we are going to play a game.  Who can find the speeding nitwit in the following video?   You might have to watch the video a few times because it might not be that easy to figure out! {SARCASM}

Personally, I love how the traffic radar is also in the video!
Clever, City of Jerks!

Monday, January 7, 2013

I D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y have Issues with Spelling

I wrote an entry awhile back about my problems with forgetting things. That post involved me not knowing what the hell kind of car I owned.  Now I'm having issues with the spelling of words.  People have called me a 'grammar nazi' in the past, but quite honestly, I'm not all that great at grammar and spelling.  I look up words all the time and also check the Grammar Girl website sometimes when writing.  I think that the difference for me with spelling and grammar is that I would rather look it up and be correct than guess and be wrong. 

My forgetfulness lately is troubling.  I like to think that for common words, I am a decent speller.  If you use firefox, then you know about the feature where it will underline any misspelled words in red and you can then right click to get spelling suggestions to correct it.  I am misspelling words so badly that I am not even getting suggestions.  The other day I tried to spell the word 'cute' as 'qute'.  Excuse me, but W.T.F.?  If I had a better memory at the moment, I could give more examples, but alas, I cannot remember any more.  This is bad.  This is really bad.  I don't know what is wrong with me.  I feel like my daughter....

About 7 years ago when she was 13 and my son was 6, she had made a post on her MySpace that said "Mushrooms vs. Unions".  I said "Yo, what is this about?" and she said "You know, 'Mushrooms vs. Unions' (onions)... I'm trying to find out what my friends like better on their pizza."   I said, "Are you kidding me right now?"  So, I turn to my 6-year-old son and said, "Hey, do you know how to spell onions?" and he said, "I'm not sure, but I know it starts with an 'O'..."   Boy, did she feel like a dumb ass.  I still don't think she knows how to spell onions.   Ahhh... at least one kid in my family knows how to freakin' spell.....  Good grief.   

Here's the kicker... just last week, I get a letter in the mail from the school stating that my son (who is now 13) qualified for the Spelling Bee as he was one of the top scorers and should plan on staying after school for the practices.  I show him the letter and he says, "I'm not doing that!"   I'm so proud.... {insert eye roll here}

Anyway, the point here is not to tell you how irritating it is to have a daughter who can't freakin' spell or the fact that I am having more senior moments.  It is to say that there are some words that people misspell that really just irritate the living shit out of me.  Definitely is definitely one of them.  I came across this website a few years ago and was severely pissed I didn't come up with it first.  Check out the 'hall of shame' link at the bottom. And to that I say, GOOD!  Those idiots should be shamed.  

If there is one thing you can grab from this post today, it is that you definitely need to learn how to spell definitely correctly.  Next time, we'll work on the correct spelling of 'privilege'.  I will pound into your head repeatedly that there are definitely no D's or A's involved in that word whatsoever.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Jesus Watches Hockey, Bitches!

It's pay back time for the trunk-dwellers.  I am only able to watch my favourite team via my laptop, which is a real pisser, but it doesn't stop me from yelling, cussing, pounding, and/or any other loud noises when necessary during game-time.  The reason for this is because my team, the Ottawa Senators, are located in... well, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.  I am NOT located in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.  I am not even located in Canada.  This poses a problem trying to find their games on any cable channel.  This is because America, the retarded, is obsessed with that stupid sport involving some "ball" that isn't even in the shape of a ball and named after the "foot" but doesn't usually involve much of the foot... well, I think you see my point.  Bottom line:  FOOTBALL SUCKS ASS!  And please don't even get me started on the snoozefest of a game basketball.  *yawn*

Thanks, cable channels.  I don't think having ESPN, ESPN2 and ESPN3 playing 29837928374928347 football and basketball games are quite enough.  Could you possibly add one more ESPN channel to play a few more of those games? 

Back to HOCKEY...  there will only be a 48 game season, but I will take it.  And, if I'm lucky enough, my boys will be traveling two hours away from me and I will 'score' some tickets.  Good pun, eh?

On that note... GO SENS GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One should really enjoy this blog post.  This is about as happy as you'll ever see me.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Mommy, Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight?

I've been in this type of blogger world for less than two months and I think I'm going to quit or stab myself in the face.  I haven't decided yet.

What is with all the unoriginal "mommy" blogs?  Is it me or are there really that many "mommies" out there that just simply don't have their own lives?  I don't get it.  I have two children.  I love them dearly.  I would do anything for them, but f#uck people!  Yes, I gave birth to my children.  Hooray.  So did 9283492834729834 other mothers.  I've raised one of them.  She left and is on her own.  (What mother doesn't say AMEN to that?)  I still got one more to go.  (4 years and a few odd months and counting...)  I do happen to enjoy my own shit from time to time.  I don't have to talk about them 24/7, nor do I have to make every username online about them, nor did I lose my own identity once I had them.  I'm considering leaving the blogging world, seriously...

...unless, of course, I can take a moment and poke fun.

Here are some blog titles I've seen.  Slightly over-exaggerated, perhaps.  

"Mommy of 52.  Worship My Uterus."

"Crazy Mommy Who Thinks No One Ever Has Ever Had Kids Before Except Me"

"Mommy Who Drinks Wine and Tells Everyone About it, but I Really Don't Even Drink"

"Happy Mommy and Wife but Divorcing and Giving up Custody Next Year because I Shoot Heroin"

"I Love Being a Mommy and yet I Beat Them with a Wooden Spoon When No One is Looking"

"Mommy who Loves to Craft, Sew, Breastfeed, Clean, Cook, Change Shitty Diapers (all at the same time, of course), but then Drives 600 Miles Away Without Telling Anyone because I Truly Suck and Can't Hack It"

"I'm a Mommy and I Want Everyone to Think I am Great because I am Actually a Horrible Mommy. My Kids are Brats and Mentally Challenged."

A little originality goes a long way.  Really and truly.


All in good fun, of course.... All in good fun :)