Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Ways to be the Hottest Cougar in Town

I know being a 'cougar' is one of the hottest things going on right now, so I'm about to give you some advice on how to make this happen.  Please, read on...

When I found out the hockey lockout was over last week, I was so freakin' happy, but then got really irritated when I realized it would be another season of me watching the games on my stupid laptop.  BUT... it dawned on me that I now own an HDTV that I did NOT own last season.  I knew there was a way to hook up my laptop so I could watch it through my fancy HDTV.

So, I headed to Staples last Friday to the computer department and ask the (young) man what I needed to get in order to make this all happen by this Saturday.  He tells me as long as I have this HDMI thing on my laptop and my TV, I just need one connector cable.  I know that I have this, so I am basically good to go.  I did not purchase this cable because Staples is outrageous in price and ended up ordering it from Ebay instead.  It's on its way.  YESSSSSSSSSS!  I shall have hockey on my TV.

This, of course, has nothing to do with becoming a hot cougar.  I just love hockey.  So, I will move on to the good part you've been reading this for.  When I was talking to him about the cable, he was telling me that he has done this whole HDMI laptop to TV thing for quite some time now and has been enjoying all his shows for a few years and doesn't have any need for cable.  I was thinking, 'wow, how cool... I could really love NOT having cable considering my bill just went up like $30...' and I said to him "But wait... how do you watch the...... newwwsssss" and at that very moment, as soon as I said the word "news" I knew that this 20-something-year-old probably never watched the news in his life.  Then before he could answer I said, "I bet you don't watch the news...", to which he replied,  "No, I don't watch it too often." as he laughed.   How very considerate of him to be so kind as to say he doesn't watch it TOO OFTEN as in NEVER as in WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT (old) LADY?

"Thanks for your help.  I have to go take my Metamucil now."

And I left.


  1. i became attracted to this post only because of the word cougar. i've been looking for one. a cougar for me would be condoms needed and 2-4 hour grinds to climax, if ever. a perfect workout with no gym fees. no expenses at all, except maybe a parking pass at her rest home. and maybe gold bond cream for bed sores.

    but then you're talking cable guys. and that's not news.

    stay informed, and enjoy your ice hackey.

    1. You didn't really think this was going to be a factual post, did you? And for future reference when responding, try to remember that less is generally better than more. :O

  2. Is that all it takes? Because I need to be a hot cougar like NOW. But maybe I should just go in and talk about bands I know the younguns like these days.

    But hey - I am still living in the same house as my estranged husband, who is, despite just a month ago saying he would to anything to make our marriage work, moving on with someone else. I wish I had options!

    1. All I can say is if you really want to do something like this, don't take my advice in any shape or form and definitely don't talk about the news. =D

      And marriage is not cup of tea, so I can't help you there.

  3. That picture makes me cringe, yet I can't stop looking at it...


Please list your side effects: