Thursday, January 3, 2013

Mommy, Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight?

I've been in this type of blogger world for less than two months and I think I'm going to quit or stab myself in the face.  I haven't decided yet.

What is with all the unoriginal "mommy" blogs?  Is it me or are there really that many "mommies" out there that just simply don't have their own lives?  I don't get it.  I have two children.  I love them dearly.  I would do anything for them, but f#uck people!  Yes, I gave birth to my children.  Hooray.  So did 9283492834729834 other mothers.  I've raised one of them.  She left and is on her own.  (What mother doesn't say AMEN to that?)  I still got one more to go.  (4 years and a few odd months and counting...)  I do happen to enjoy my own shit from time to time.  I don't have to talk about them 24/7, nor do I have to make every username online about them, nor did I lose my own identity once I had them.  I'm considering leaving the blogging world, seriously...

...unless, of course, I can take a moment and poke fun.

Here are some blog titles I've seen.  Slightly over-exaggerated, perhaps.  

"Mommy of 52.  Worship My Uterus."

"Crazy Mommy Who Thinks No One Ever Has Ever Had Kids Before Except Me"

"Mommy Who Drinks Wine and Tells Everyone About it, but I Really Don't Even Drink"

"Happy Mommy and Wife but Divorcing and Giving up Custody Next Year because I Shoot Heroin"

"I Love Being a Mommy and yet I Beat Them with a Wooden Spoon When No One is Looking"

"Mommy who Loves to Craft, Sew, Breastfeed, Clean, Cook, Change Shitty Diapers (all at the same time, of course), but then Drives 600 Miles Away Without Telling Anyone because I Truly Suck and Can't Hack It"

"I'm a Mommy and I Want Everyone to Think I am Great because I am Actually a Horrible Mommy. My Kids are Brats and Mentally Challenged."

A little originality goes a long way.  Really and truly.


All in good fun, of course.... All in good fun :)


  1. Oh, PLEASE don't leave the blogging world! We have a revolution to start! I was blogging before "mommy blogs" were a thing. I even adore a few mom bloggers (but not many).

    This is my vision: bloggers who DON'T blog constantly about the children. Hopefully some who are around my age ready to change the face of middle age and blogdom!

    I found some over 40 lists, but the majority of the ones I clicked on don't blog anymore. I guess many of us (and by us, I mean the moms who don't feel it necessary to blog mainly about our kids and older bloggers who don't mainly blog about their kids) eventually give up since we don't have nearly the web presence that the mommy bloggers of today have. Back when I first started, blogging was a lot more like journaling, but now it's given way to reviews and giveaways....which are fine, but just not every. damn. post.

    You have a readership; I have one when I link to memes and hops. We might be able to forge a small but active "community" by vising one another regularly!

    Oh, and yay! I can read your blog again now! Had the settings changed, or was it just a weird glitch? Because I still can't read some of the other ones I was talking about, but who knows? Maybe they privated their blogs and just didn't invite me.

    How rude!

    Happy New Year!

  2. P.S. You need to make a button for your blog, so I can stick it on mine. Those of us no-niche or all-over-the-place bloggers need to stick together!

  3. HA! The last blog title was my favorite! Amen sista! And like Kim said, don't leave! Let's stick together and make fun of all of the other idiots out there! :)

  4. Kim - No, no... I'm not leaving. I had my fun with this post and I feel better now. However, I am wondering how many people I will actually find to visit because there doesn't seem to be too many. If it isn't kids than it's "hubby" which isn't much better. =D

    I'll see if I can come up with a button today for you! Happy New Year to you, too!

  5. Lisa - I'm not going anywhere! I've got too much to say, yo! :)

  6. Huh... I make a point of never blogging about anyone but myself. Not because I'm narcissistic, but... OK, maybe a little. But mostly I don't think it's fair writing about other people.

    And also, I don't have kids. I will never have kids. Or if I did, I'd name them Crayola and Vlad Pavlov and train them to respond to bells and whistles, and teach them to count in Hexidecimal so they would ALWAYS BE WEIRD.

    No. Screw that. I can't even blog about my cats.

  7. Oh crap. Now I want to blog about my imaginary children.

  8. Yes, Leauxra! Do that. Then I will come by and pretend to stab myself. It will give me something to do this weekend. That way I don't have to quit blogging.

  9. The user name thing kills me. I cringe when I see "aidensmommy" or "mommytimesthree". I do not want my name attached to my assholes anymore than it has to, LOL.

  10. Exactly. Aiden will be fine. He's going to fall off his bike. He's going to hurt his knee. Aiden will bleed. He'll live. Mommy has shit to do besides being Aiden's Mommy.

  11. what horrible motherf*ckers you are. notice that daddyf*ckers are ignored. girlymenf*ckers arise and blog!!! it takes a village to raise brats.

  12. Is that how meece do it in the tundra? I didn't realize several igloos together was called a village.

  13. This is exactly why I don't like to call my blog a Mommy blog. I do blog about my kids, but other stuff too, like why my printer is from hell and dreaming about nakedness and stuff.

    There are a lot of good Mommy blogs out there (Crappy Pictures, for example) and there are a lot of bad blogs out there too (no example because I like NOT getting beat up!). I'm talking REALLY bad-I found this out recently awhile back when I linked up to some blog one time thing or other (ok, quite a while ago). I visited the other blogs participating and was like, wow... people read this? Which was weird, because the person sponsoring it is fab. But to each his own and there is someone who probably thinks the same about mine.

    I got a big chuckle out of some of your blog names there... Watch, there probably really IS a blog with "Worship My Uterus" in the title!


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