What's More Depressing Than Anti-Depressants?

If you've ever taken anti-depressants, then you probably know how depressing they can be to take on either a long-term and/or short-term basis.  The side effects alone can be devastating enough to make you want to quit taking them.  I love when you see a commercial for any medication where the list of side effects goes on for over half of the total commercial time.  And a lot of times 'death' is on the list.  Well, I guess if you check with your doctor first, you might be okay.  Whaaaa?

To me, there's nothing worse than having sexual side effects from an anti-depressant. What is more depressing than this?  Nausea?  No.  Dizziness?  Nope.  Being in a fog?  Not really.  Zombie-like state?  Don't mind that one too much.  Sexual dysfunction?  Wait.... what???  Are you f#ucking kidding me?  If we have only one, small ounce of joy in our lives, even if for a brief 10 seconds, would it not be SEX?

Apparently several years ago I was on such a medication and quite fed up.  Previously to this, I was encouraged to start writing poetry as a method of therapy.  I guess I did just that and this poem I wrote about my 'dysfunction' is what I would call pretty straightforward.  It's called "Pills and Orgasms".  It's humourous to me now.  Not so much then.  And today is your lucky day as I am sharing it with you.  I should have sent it to my doctor and told him it was part of my therapy plan.  :)

pills and orgasms
they just don't mix
doctor says come on, take 'em bitch
and get your fix

but, you see, doc
my fix is bliss
that cums from hot sex
and a wet sloppy kiss

i took the pills
just like he said
i went down on my man
and gave him some head
 

he then turned on me
and boy i was ready
i said, yeah baby, just like that
slow, nice and steady
 

we tried for hours
and much to my dismay
no orgasms for me
so maybe another day

i went back to the doc
he said, sorry, that's the game
i want a different pill, i said
one with a different name
 

he said they are all alike
no matter what you do
i said, forget it, asshole
'cuz if i can't cum
i'd rather be blue

july 12, 2007