Sunday, June 9, 2013

Bullwinkles: A Homosexual Experience I will never Forget

Names have been changed for no reason at all because I highly doubt those involved would even remember or care, but I'm going to do it anyway.

The year was 1989.  I was either 18 or 19 - doesn't really matter much.  I was living in Bloomington, Indiana with my older sister at the time and using her ID to get into bars regularly.  All my friends were all over 21 and drinking.  What was a girl to do.

I was naive, to say the least.   I was especially naive when it came to homosexuals, homosexuality, gays, lesbians, etc., etc., etc.  One evening I became an astute individual to the world of homosexuals like real fast.

My two friends, we'll call them Gina and Grant, and I were trying to figure out what we wanted to do.  They kept going back and forth to each other saying things like "Should we?" - "I don't know... do you think she can handle it?" - "She'll be fine..." - "Let's do it." ....  Of course, I have no idea what the hell they are talking about.  They said they wanted to take me to a bar called Bullwinkles and they thought I'd really have fun.  Me being the mere innocent child I was, but ready to party said "Let's go!"

Bullwinkles was underground, so you had to walk down steps to get into the place. We had our IDs checked and although I looked nothing like my older sister, I got in with no problems (ahhh, the good old days...) and then headed toward the main bar to get drinks.  On my way to the bar, I remember looking around and thinking, "Hmm... there are only men in here.  I wonder why?"  And not even a few seconds later, I realized why there were only men in there as I saw two of them kissing against the wall just a few feet away.  I think that's when all the blood proceeded to drain from my face and my jaw dropped to the floor and of course my friends were standing there looking at me looking around with extreme joy that they had popped my gay bar 'cherry'.

Oh, but it does not stop here, no it does not...

I said to myself that I was going to be a very mature person about this even though I was a bit unnerved to say the least.  We sat down at a table and I probably sucked down my electric lemonade within minutes.  (I can't believe I drank those, but I did.)  All of a sudden, the lights go down, and spotlights and crazy colored lights with this wacked out burlesque music starts playing.  I look toward the stage where I see this lady.  But wait, it was not a lady.  It was a man, dressed up as a lady... okay, it was a drag queen.  She(He) comes out and starts dancing and singing.  And, and... gawd, the horror.

Needless to say, Gina and Grant were basically laughing their asses off - at me.  I can't even imagine what my face looked like.  I actually wish I had a picture of it now (of my face, not of the drag queen).  I must admit, I'm kind of glad I had this experience.  It was one I will never forget and there is nothing like jumping into a homosexual experience head first, right?  It was my first.... and last as of today.  ;)

Oh and here's a trip... when I was looking for a picture for this post, I actually found this (myspace?  ha!) which has pictures from Bullwinkles.  Yeah, thought so...  so glad this memory is alive and well.

Bullwinkles - Drag Queen Show

         There are just no words.


  1. i'm nearly inclined to say "gay", but i wouldn't. and i really thought it might be a threesome with gina and grant, and a bull watching from a pen, you know how bullish bulls can be.

    but i call "bullwinkle"! that's not vanessa williams ;)

    you've led such a sheltered life :D

    1. I led a sheltered life until I was able to get away from the shelter, so-to-speak. I guess my story sucked, but thank you for commenting. I don't remember Vanessa Williams, but I do remember a Whitney Houston and I don't think it was her either.

  2. story doesn't suck, you scared us away with the title. :D

    1. I think it was the fact that the title was MISLEADING. Don't you think? I know how you people operate.

  3. you used to say "gay" a lot. that's how you operated. heh


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