I never lash out at others. If I did this, I would not be the perfect person that I am. And that, my friends, would just be confounded silliness. I have also NEVER, EVER said stupid things. This would put a black mark on my perfection. Again, something a perfect person would never have.
Some might ask if I have ever made a mistake. Mistakes? There are no mistakes. What I have learned from the only other perfect person I know is that when called out on doing something wrong (as if...), one must simply deny, deny, deny. It's easy.
For example:
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You: Hey, did you steal my new Garnet Rogers CD?
Me: No way.
You: Yes, you did. I saw you.
Me: I did not!
You: I have video, so you are wrong, brat face!
Me: I'm NEVER wrong!
You: The video clearly shows you putting ~MY~ GARNET ROGERS CD in your pocket and running away.
Me: Don't know what you're talking about. It was obviously a set-up...
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And that's pretty much all there is to it... deny, deny, deny. Pretty soon everyone will believe that you are NEVER wrong - myself included.
As you can tell, perfection is very difficult for me. I only wish others could emulate my perfection and have this incredible sense of self-worth and absolute freedom that comes with this state of excellence.
This is not something that can just happen over night. Perfection takes a long time. Okay, actually, in my case, it did not really take that long at all. For me, it was just a few short weeks (after I was born), but for most it will take a long time. Once you reach it - ahhh, pure bliss.
Please feel free to submit any questions about my snow-white purity below. I will surely be able to give you a most perfect answer.
