There Once was a Girl Who Loved Xmas

Yeah, so I really hate xmas.  I just find the whole "CELEBRATION" annoying.  I don't celebrate baby jesus' birth because, well, quite frankly, what's the dude every done for me?  And secondly, his star is entirely way too bright.

However, there once was a girl who loved xmas and that girl happened to be ME! The only reason I know this is because I found the proof in a photo.  I'm pretty sure this was the year I received my "Baby Alive" doll, except the 'food' (I'm not exactly sure what the f#ck that was...) got all moldy down in her little tummy and mom and dad had to throw her away a few weeks later and I only knew her to have gone "missing".  No wonder I have issues. 

Interesting FACTOID straight from Wikipedia about little Baby Alive (and when I say interesting, I mean WTF?!):
"it could be fed food packets mixed with water, and came with a bottle, diapers and feeding spoon. The spoon would be inserted into its mouth, and a lever on its back pushed to have it chew the food. The food would move through her and end up in her diaper; this version did not speak, so you had to check the diaper a few moments after feeding. It also produced droppings and threw up regularly."

Does this sound like something you'd want your child to play with?  I mean seriously.  This is just mental illness waiting to happen.

Since this is THROW BACK THURSDAY (and here I thought this meant throw one back, as in a shot of Stolis - which I still might do later), I thought I'd share this adorable picture of cute little moi from December 1972.  Now, everyone look at it and say, "awwww" because this girl now, in 2013, doesn't get this excited for xmas no mo.

"Yay for xmas and Baby Alive - who will grow mold in her stomach and have to 'go missing'!  Thanks Mom!  Thanks Dad!"  

clap, clap, clap.  

My Non-Clusterf#ck Merry-ish Tree

Last year, around this time, I wrote about my CLUSTERF#CK of a Xmas Tree.  Well, after Xmas was over last year, I tossed that sucker in the dumpster.  Yep, and I was happy to do so.   A few weeks after the holiday was over, I received (possibly as a joke... it must have been, yes...) a two-foot pre-lit tree which I put in the closet and left there unopened.

A week ago, I moved into a new house and after packing and preparing for this move over the last two months, there was no way in hell I was going to decorate for a holiday I pretty much despise.  Let's just say I am less than merry most of the year as it is and people wishing me to be merry day after day in the freezing cold doesn't make me want to be any merrier than I already am not. 

However, one of my very good friends in Ottawa sent me a set of six Ottawa Sens ornaments last March (yes, well she is always a bit late with things, but gawd bless her Canadian soul).  Let's see, six ornaments, a two-foot (60.96 cm) pre-lit tree... not much Xmas merry-ness.... how could I NOT put it up? 

This year, I consider my 60.96 cm Xmas tree with my six Ottawa Senators ornaments to be very non-clusterf#ck-like.

Unfortunately, my semi-merry-ish spirit has not really been effective in the sens(e) that The Sens have been playing very non-merrily this season. 

Love me, Love my Sens, Love my Xmas Sens Tree

A Cross between the Cartoon Character Ziggy and an Anemic Lump of Jelly

A cross between the cartoon character Ziggy and an anemic lump of jelly... well put for sure!  This would be an accurate description of the blobfish; a deep sea fish that lives in the waters off the coasts of mainland Australia (not surprised) as well as other places, islands or whatever else is in that area of the world.  I believe it's all close to Iraq, isn't it?

Apparently this fish was just recently voted the ugliest animal alive.  That would also be another reason why I don't really eat creatures from the sea.  Personally, I think Ted Cruz should have been the winner.  I hear it was a VERY close second. 


source :http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2013/09/12/blobfish-voted-ugliest-animal/2806625/

 Hooroo mate.

Dear Dad...

It appears one has flown over the cuckoo's nest.  And when I say ONE, I mean ME.  It has been almost 5 years to the date since you've been gone and when I say GONE, I mean gone as in dead, deceased, passed on, crossed over... but you were long gone before that.  We know that you had mental illness, too.  You were highly OCD.   Remember how you would make us late all the time because you had to check and re-check to make sure we (all us girls) had turned off our hairdryers, curling irons, etc?  As if we could just leave a hairdryer running and not know it...

Your issues were passed along to your favourite middle daughter, ME!  SURPRISE!   Although, you never really called me your favorite middle daughter.  You usually just said I wasn't as dumb as I looked.  Maybe that's because my hairdryer was never actually running on its own when you went back the third or fourth time to make sure.  I know it was the '80s and all, and yes, we did overuse hairspray, curling irons and hairdryers, but seriously, Dad.  I didn't look THAT dumb, did I? 

I just wanted you to know, even though you probably can't read this and even if you could, you would only be wondering why I haven't already dated this instead of wanting to know what I wanted you to know... gawd,  you were pretty OCD about that too.  Everything HAD to have a date and time.  No wonder I can remember days and dates and times and good grief, it's a curse. There are some things I just want to forget and can't.  Thanks for that.  In any case, to make you feel better, Dad... the date is automatically entered when I post this blog.  Do you even know what a blog is?  Probably not.  When I would tell you years ago that I was burning a CD, you'd say "Why do you want to burn your CDs?  Don't you like them?"

Anyway, before I have to hit the big anniversary date of your DEATH and be my dramatic self, I just wanted you to know (trying this again) I'd write this now and say,

Dear Dad,
I miss you something terrible.  If I can make it until May 10th, I will look up (or down...) and say thanks.  You got me here and probably because you did pass along your OCD and other unnamed mental illnesses.  And see... I really wasn't as dumb as I looked... perhaps.
Love, 
Your favourite middle daughter

 This is a lovely photo of "Dad" and me from October 1984.  Yes, it was dated on the back, but I knew that anyway.  This was at Disney World.  He was probably wondering if I had turned off my curling iron.  Can't imagine why because it didn't do my hair much good (obviously).  And why am I holding his hat?  And why is he sitting like that?  Also, I cut out my younger sister who was sitting on the other side of him.  She was 9 then and wearing a Mickey Mouse hat.  I thought I'd be kind (for once).   The '80s were so cruel.

(R.M.B.)

~mar 1936 - sept 2008~

A Birthday on this Twenty-Third Day of July

So who is having a birthday today?  Well, I am sure a lot of people.  For instance, we have the following:

Monica Lewinsky – Hot!  I mean, who wouldn’t want to …. ew. wait.  never mind.

We have Daniel Radcliffe –  You know, Harry Potter... okay, well that’s lame, but whatever.

Then there's Slash from Guns 'n Roses – Now that's pretty sweet.  That dude can rock a guitar.  Okay, so I’m a closet Guns ‘n Roses fan who just came out of the closet. 

Woody Harrelson – Total stoner, plus I think he’s a great actor.  I'd love to share a birthday with him!  He’d light up a big phatty.

Alison Krauss – She has some pretty decent songs every now and then.
 
Philip Seymour Hoffman – LOVE THIS GUY! 
 
Florence Vidor – She was an American actress from the 1920s.  I never heard of her, but she looks beautiful. 
 
Bert Convy –  Come on.  Who doesn’t love some Bert Convy?

Normar Garciaparra - One word: BASEBALL!

Ian Thomas –  Eh, he’s a Canuck musician.  I’ll just include him for that reason alone.

Rob Stewart –  Same reason as above, except he’s an actor. 
 
Well, in any case, I think you get the idea.  There are so many more celebrities that have birthday on this 23^rd day of July, but honestly, who gives a fuck?  Today is my most awesomest, coolest, canuckian friend’s birthday and that’s the most important one of all.  :)    

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, P.!

Hope you have a great day and many, many more trips around the sun and have the moon make many, many more trips around you!  

The Jaws of Life

What does fear do?  Let me tell you about fear.  It is a destroyer of all things that are good.  Maybe paranoia is a better word -or- is it lack of trust?  Maybe not so much the lack of trust in others, but maybe the lack of trust in one's self. 

The fear of abandonment and losing all that we have known and loved whether these feelings are 'real or imagined' is quite the mental mind-game.  I believe I wrote a poem titled "real or imagined" relating to this very issue as I was once told I do something quite similar to this often. Thinking on that more, this poem was written a VERY long time ago.  Sad.  I still am playing a one-person mind-game.

Or... is it possible that the fear is of pain and hurt, whether physical or mental -OR- physical FROM the mental.  Either way it IS pain and no one really wants that.   However, this still goes back to abandonment, right?

Or... is it possible that the fear comes from the fact that there is a long history and track record that, quite frankly, is just not good.  This seems pretty damn logical, and even though it is still considered completely irrational to some, in one's mind, it is 100% rational, logical and worthy of believing.  Perception is one's reality.  That's the bottom line, is it not?  But again, this goes back to abandonment, right? 

Anger, Sadness, Fear... they all seem to twist and smash and mangle themselves together and eventually suffocate a once semi-thriving human being.  It is the breaking of these things apart that must be accomplished before anything prolific can happen. Still, these things are like twisted metal, two cars in a head-on collision, where the 'jaws of life' need to be called in to cut, spread and separate these demons to free the human spirit.  The only question is, just how in the hell how do you acquire that tool?