The fear of abandonment and losing all that we have known and loved whether these feelings are 'real or imagined' is quite the mental mind-game. I believe I wrote a poem titled "real or imagined" relating to this very issue as I was once told I do something quite similar to this often. Thinking on that more, this poem was written a VERY long time ago. Sad. I still am playing a one-person mind-game.
Or... is it possible that the fear is of pain and hurt, whether physical or mental -OR- physical FROM the mental. Either way it IS pain and no one really wants that. However, this still goes back to abandonment, right?
Or... is it possible that the fear comes from the fact that there is a long history and track record that, quite frankly, is just not good. This seems pretty damn logical, and even though it is still considered completely irrational to some, in one's mind, it is 100% rational, logical and worthy of believing. Perception is one's reality. That's the bottom line, is it not? But again, this goes back to abandonment, right?
Anger, Sadness, Fear... they all seem to twist and smash and mangle themselves together and eventually suffocate a once semi-thriving human being. It is the breaking of these things apart that must be accomplished before anything prolific can happen. Still, these things are like twisted metal, two cars in a head-on collision, where the 'jaws of life' need to be called in to cut, spread and separate these demons to free the human spirit. The only question is, just how in the hell how do you acquire that tool?
