Lightning Strikes, Maybe Once, Maybe Twice

I don't know if it's in my blood, but it must be.   My maternal grandfather put it in my head at a very young age by calling me a gypsy.  His family was from Budapest where his father was the editor of the Budapest newspaper.  I guess that is where my mad writing skills come from.  yeah, sure... 

I spent pretty much every day, all day, with my grandparents for about three years while my mother and father owned/worked at their restaurant.  I was not old enough yet for school, so my mother dropped me off with them every morning and I wasn't picked up until late at night.  I know this because my grandmother would take me into the basement to play jump rope or do whatever during the evening news because we had to "be quiet" so my grandfather could watch it in peace. (I get that now... unfortunately)

I remember always wanting to go into my grandmother's dresser drawers to look through her jewelry.  I would try on her necklaces, earrings (she had clip-ons, so this was doable), rings, anything I could get my hands on.  She was always very willing to let me sift through whatever I wanted and play 'dress up'.  She would even apply some hideous bright, red lipstick and we'd laugh while looking in the mirror.  I'm sure my mother was not the least bit amused especially after the time I had perfectly applied her powder blue eye shadow (it was the 70s, what can I say) at the age of three.  If you come to a family dinner, there is a 99% chance she will tell the story.  I think she was actually VERY amused and is now rather forgetful because she tells the story like she has never told it and no one has ever heard it.  [insert eye roll here]

Back to the gypsy thing... I do not have some crazy itch to 'wander'.  The only wandering I've been doing lately has been in my brain and not knowing what kind of car I own or how to spell words, as we all know.  I do, however, feel a strong urgency to know more about my Hungarian background.  Why did my grandfather call me a gypsy?  Why has it rattled my brain for so many years?    And why do I have an obsession with big, gaudy rings, long earrings and necklaces?   I love everything gaudy.  Oh hell, if I could live in one of those gypsy wagons and read tarot cards or scry into a crystal ball all day, I probably would.  I'm not sure I'd have any sort of accuracy, but I think I could learn to love trying.

Okay, back to real life!

I just ordered these gorgeous earrings (custom made) from one of my favourite Etsy stores, TheGypsyRebel or you can find her on facebook, TheGypsyRebel - FB.  You can also find her blog at Murmur of Wings.

I'm saving them for a special occasion, although, I don't know what that is yet.  I can't wait to get them.  They are being shipped out today.  Lindsay does beautiful work with the ability to bring out the gypsy in you even if you aren't quite sure what that is.  She's amazing.  I urge you to check out her store.  She is taking a small break right now until spring, but keep her in mind.

And, here is my proof that from a very young age, I was a gypsy at heart.  My favourite Halloween costume was going as a gypsy.  How cute am I? (rhetorical)  

Little Hungarian Gypsy, 2-years-old

Ways to be the Hottest Cougar in Town

I know being a 'cougar' is one of the hottest things going on right now, so I'm about to give you some advice on how to make this happen.  Please, read on...

When I found out the hockey lockout was over last week, I was so freakin' happy, but then got really irritated when I realized it would be another season of me watching the games on my stupid laptop.  BUT... it dawned on me that I now own an HDTV that I did NOT own last season.  I knew there was a way to hook up my laptop so I could watch it through my fancy HDTV.

So, I headed to Staples last Friday to the computer department and ask the (young) man what I needed to get in order to make this all happen by this Saturday.  He tells me as long as I have this HDMI thing on my laptop and my TV, I just need one connector cable.  I know that I have this, so I am basically good to go.  I did not purchase this cable because Staples is outrageous in price and ended up ordering it from Ebay instead.  It's on its way.  YESSSSSSSSSS!  I shall have hockey on my TV.

This, of course, has nothing to do with becoming a hot cougar.  I just love hockey.  So, I will move on to the good part you've been reading this for.  When I was talking to him about the cable, he was telling me that he has done this whole HDMI laptop to TV thing for quite some time now and has been enjoying all his shows for a few years and doesn't have any need for cable.  I was thinking, 'wow, how cool... I could really love NOT having cable considering my bill just went up like $30...' and I said to him "But wait... how do you watch the...... newwwsssss" and at that very moment, as soon as I said the word "news" I knew that this 20-something-year-old probably never watched the news in his life.  Then before he could answer I said, "I bet you don't watch the news...", to which he replied,  "No, I don't watch it too often." as he laughed.   How very considerate of him to be so kind as to say he doesn't watch it TOO OFTEN as in NEVER as in WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT (old) LADY?

"Thanks for your help.  I have to go take my Metamucil now."

And I left.

Let's Play a Game: Who Can Find the Speeding Nitwit?

Who doesn't like games, right?

Not naming any names, but someone was driving on the 18th of December, 2012, in a certain city who NEVER drives in this certain city.  And when I say NEVER, I mean maybe twice a year.   Okay, three times a year, because this unnamed person has to drive there again in about two hours, but that's neither here nor there.  When "they" drive in this city, they get extreeeeeme anxiety.  Now, this is no excuse for speeding.  This person knows this.  And it's rather funny (and when I say funny, I mean funny "weird", not funny "haha") that he/she would get a ticket for speeding when they have been repeatedly accused for driving like "an old person" by his/her children.

About a week ago, this unnamed driver received a letter in the mail saying they were going 47 mph in a 35 mph speed zone and now has a $100 ticket to pay.  (It has been paid from what I hear and no points were put on the license.... well isn't that a relief.)  

So we are going to play a game.  Who can find the speeding nitwit in the following video?   You might have to watch the video a few times because it might not be that easy to figure out! {SARCASM}

Personally, I love how the traffic radar is also in the video!
Clever, City of Jerks!

I D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y have Issues with Spelling

I wrote an entry awhile back about my problems with forgetting things. That post involved me not knowing what the hell kind of car I owned.  Now I'm having issues with the spelling of words.  People have called me a 'grammar nazi' in the past, but quite honestly, I'm not all that great at grammar and spelling.  I look up words all the time and also check the Grammar Girl website sometimes when writing.  I think that the difference for me with spelling and grammar is that I would rather look it up and be correct than guess and be wrong. 

My forgetfulness lately is troubling.  I like to think that for common words, I am a decent speller.  If you use firefox, then you know about the feature where it will underline any misspelled words in red and you can then right click to get spelling suggestions to correct it.  I am misspelling words so badly that I am not even getting suggestions.  The other day I tried to spell the word 'cute' as 'qute'.  Excuse me, but W.T.F.?  If I had a better memory at the moment, I could give more examples, but alas, I cannot remember any more.  This is bad.  This is really bad.  I don't know what is wrong with me.  I feel like my daughter....

About 7 years ago when she was 13 and my son was 6, she had made a post on her MySpace that said "Mushrooms vs. Unions".  I said "Yo, what is this about?" and she said "You know, 'Mushrooms vs. Unions' (onions)... I'm trying to find out what my friends like better on their pizza."   I said, "Are you kidding me right now?"  So, I turn to my 6-year-old son and said, "Hey, do you know how to spell onions?" and he said, "I'm not sure, but I know it starts with an 'O'..."   Boy, did she feel like a dumb ass.  I still don't think she knows how to spell onions.   Ahhh... at least one kid in my family knows how to freakin' spell.....  Good grief.   

Here's the kicker... just last week, I get a letter in the mail from the school stating that my son (who is now 13) qualified for the Spelling Bee as he was one of the top scorers and should plan on staying after school for the practices.  I show him the letter and he says, "I'm not doing that!"   I'm so proud.... {insert eye roll here}

Anyway, the point here is not to tell you how irritating it is to have a daughter who can't freakin' spell or the fact that I am having more senior moments.  It is to say that there are some words that people misspell that really just irritate the living shit out of me.  Definitely is definitely one of them.  I came across this website a few years ago and was severely pissed I didn't come up with it first.  Check out the 'hall of shame' link at the bottom. And to that I say, GOOD!  Those idiots should be shamed.
http://www.d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y.com/  

If there is one thing you can grab from this post today, it is that you definitely need to learn how to spell definitely correctly.  Next time, we'll work on the correct spelling of 'privilege'.  I will pound into your head repeatedly that there are definitely no D's or A's involved in that word whatsoever.

Jesus Watches Hockey, Bitches!

It's pay back time for the trunk-dwellers.  I am only able to watch my favourite team via my laptop, which is a real pisser, but it doesn't stop me from yelling, cussing, pounding, and/or any other loud noises when necessary during game-time.  The reason for this is because my team, the Ottawa Senators, are located in... well, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.  I am NOT located in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.  I am not even located in Canada.  This poses a problem trying to find their games on any cable channel.  This is because America, the retarded, is obsessed with that stupid sport involving some "ball" that isn't even in the shape of a ball and named after the "foot" but doesn't usually involve much of the foot... well, I think you see my point.  Bottom line:  FOOTBALL SUCKS ASS!  And please don't even get me started on the snoozefest of a game basketball.  *yawn*

Thanks, cable channels.  I don't think having ESPN, ESPN2 and ESPN3 playing 29837928374928347 football and basketball games are quite enough.  Could you possibly add one more ESPN channel to play a few more of those games? 

Back to HOCKEY...  there will only be a 48 game season, but I will take it.  And, if I'm lucky enough, my boys will be traveling two hours away from me and I will 'score' some tickets.  Good pun, eh?

On that note... GO SENS GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One should really enjoy this blog post.  This is about as happy as you'll ever see me.

 

Mommy, Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight?

I've been in this type of blogger world for less than two months and I think I'm going to quit or stab myself in the face.  I haven't decided yet.

What is with all the unoriginal "mommy" blogs?  Is it me or are there really that many "mommies" out there that just simply don't have their own lives?  I don't get it.  I have two children.  I love them dearly.  I would do anything for them, but f#uck people!  Yes, I gave birth to my children.  Hooray.  So did 9283492834729834 other mothers.  I've raised one of them.  She left and is on her own.  (What mother doesn't say AMEN to that?)  I still got one more to go.  (4 years and a few odd months and counting...)  I do happen to enjoy my own shit from time to time.  I don't have to talk about them 24/7, nor do I have to make every username online about them, nor did I lose my own identity once I had them.  I'm considering leaving the blogging world, seriously...

...unless, of course, I can take a moment and poke fun.

Here are some blog titles I've seen.  Slightly over-exaggerated, perhaps.  

"Mommy of 52.  Worship My Uterus."

"Crazy Mommy Who Thinks No One Ever Has Ever Had Kids Before Except Me"

"Mommy Who Drinks Wine and Tells Everyone About it, but I Really Don't Even Drink"

"Happy Mommy and Wife but Divorcing and Giving up Custody Next Year because I Shoot Heroin"

"I Love Being a Mommy and yet I Beat Them with a Wooden Spoon When No One is Looking"
 
"Mommy who Loves to Craft, Sew, Breastfeed, Clean, Cook, Change Shitty Diapers (all at the same time, of course), but then Drives 600 Miles Away Without Telling Anyone because I Truly Suck and Can't Hack It"

"I'm a Mommy and I Want Everyone to Think I am Great because I am Actually a Horrible Mommy. My Kids are Brats and Mentally Challenged."

A little originality goes a long way.  Really and truly.

Thanks.

All in good fun, of course.... All in good fun :)